Rites of Passage | Damian x OC

26. Two Lies, One Truth

"Im trying my best
I'm trying my best to be okay
I'm trying my best, but every day, it's so hard
And I'm holding my breath 'till I can say
all of the words I want to say from my heart"
~ Anson Seabra, "Trying My Best"

Chapter 26: Two Lies, One Truth

She was standing in the kitchen, arms crossed as she stared unseeingly at the cabinets. Her mind was completely elsewhere, images of darkened, green eyes boring into her while his voice echoed words that had injected hurt under her skin. Why was this happening between them? Would they be able to fix it? If so... how? At the same time, her brain and body were fuzzy with both alcohol and stardust, a combination she'd needed after the altercation from the other day.

It'd been a little embarrassing going back out to the living room with the other teens most likely knowing the basics of what'd happened, so she'd felt the need to overload her senses with anything that wasn't pain since then. Misty had texted her privately and asked if she was okay, to which Jess had said she was fine. But the other girl had kept glancing at her for the rest of the day, letting Jess know her lie hadn't gone unnoticed. Misty had also suggested Jess hang out with her yesterday and today—maybe she didn't want her friend around Kade? Did that have something to do with how she felt about her using stardust?

At the moment, Jess didn't really care. She was at Kade's again anyway after a short work shift, intent on drowning herself in a few beers and grams of the white dust that was ripping her life apart.

A pair of arms snaked around her waist from behind her along with a warm mouth under her ear, startling her. The faint scents of aftershave and sharp cologne drifted to Jess's nose as she turned her head, seeing a familiar, sly grin.

"What're you doin' in here?" Kade asked in a low voice. "Lost in thought?"

"Something like that," she responded with a short, dry laugh that felt unnatural.

His touch was sending burning sensations all over her skin. He straightened up and spun her around to face him, dilated, icy eyes examining her. Like her, he was a little intoxicated but not quite drunk.

"What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

Both of his hands made their way to cup her face, and she found it difficult to meet his gaze as doubt made her pause. "I guess I'm still... you know, thinking about the other day."

A shadow seemed to fall over his attractive features, similarly to the expression he'd worn when he'd seen Damian grabbing her wrist.

"Nah, fuck him," Kade said casually as he tucked her hair behind her ear. "All he's done is make you cry, and he obviously doesn't care about what you think or how you feel."

Jess was quiet as she considered his words. Did Damian really not care for her like she'd thought he did? To say he "obviously" didn't care about what she thought or felt seemed untrue, yet...

"Jess." He was lifting her chin now, making her look at him. The way his cool gaze was running over her face made something stir in her gut. "Forget him, okay? He's making you sad, and I don't like you being sad."

She felt a small smile growing on her face then, which had the corner of his mouth quirking up in response. "There's that smile I like." She didn't have a chance to respond because Kade was kissing her, his fingers still holding her chin and other hand dropping to her waist.

Since that day he'd first kissed her in his car, Jess had learned that he was often affectionate: he would always hold her hand, sling an arm around her shoulders, plant random kisses on her face, pinch her cheeks. Not that she was complaining; he made her blush often, especially when he was doing these things around other people, but that just meant he wasn't afraid of public affection. Although, for a girl who'd never been in an actual relationship, the experience was still unusual and new to her, so she was simply trying to enjoy it while she could before going back home.