Rites of Passage | Damian x OC

33. Wanted

cw: implications of abuse, drug abuse, suggestive themes

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Chapter 33: Wanted

"I like that you make me feel wanted."

It'd been an admission of feelings she wasn't sure she had to share, but she did anyway. Another step towards being vulnerable and open, right? They hadn't been doing anything in particular, just sitting side-by-side on her bed and watching some random tv show on her laptop they'd chosen. All he'd done was throw an arm around her and bring her closer, running his fingers through her hair.

It'd been sort of a fleeting thought, a spoken response to the way his presence and natural displays of affection made her feel. Maybe it was simply because this was her first romantic relationship beyond a measly crush growing up, maybe it was because she hadn't known what it was like to be given the kind of attention that had her stomach doing flip-flops and heart pounding in her chest. Sometimes it was as simple as seeing the way he looked at her when she met his gaze, other times it was much more intimate than that like when his gray-blues seemed to pierce her from beneath the sheets and his hands were gripping her body like it was a lifeline.

That morning in August, before Jess had boarded the plane back to Central City, had been the one and only time she'd been under the influence of stardust. That wasn't to say she needed to be under the influence of anything — the substance made the entire experience different, sure, but the common thread was the same: it always left her feeling desired, even needed. Stardust or alcohol or neither, Kade treated her as if she were the only girl he cared about and the only thing he had (as cliche as it sounded) with the arm that held her close or the fingers that wrapped around her neck. Strangely, moments like this made her feel small and almost fragile in his hands, as if he could easily break her.

He always did, though, in the best way. Every time, it was a reminder that he had this kind of control over her mind, her body, her entire being. Every single time, he swallowed her whole, bringing her to a place where she was just surrounded by him and only him, vulnerable to his rough treatment.

And this moment was no different. She could taste a hint of blood on her bottom lip as she stared up at the bedroom ceiling, waiting for her breathing to slow. Her body was so warm under the sheets, a thin layer of sweat on her skin. Beside her, Kade was rolling over to face her and brush strands of hair away, his own locks an endearing, floppy mess across his forehead. His thumb found its way to her lip, gently, which was in contrast to what he'd been doing previously.

"Sorry," he told her with a knowing grin.

"It's nothing for you to be sorry about," Jess answered, returning the smile before slipping out from under the sheets and heading to her bathroom.

Minutes later, she was wearing his t-shirt, curling up next to him on her bed. That meant he was shirtless and only wearing his pants, thumbing through his phone. Her limbs were tired — and would probably be a bit sore tomorrow — as she yawned and then kissed his warm, bare shoulder.

In their casual talk, he brought up her upcoming tryout for the local, recreational hockey season for the winter. It had actually been Misty's idea; she'd mentioned it, urging Jess to think about joining. The teen's initial reaction had been one rooted in hesitation and uncertainty, particularly because it'd been years since she'd played on a team like that.

"So?" Misty had said. "You liked doing it as a kid, and it's not like this is super competitive. It's literally just a bunch of other local high school girls like you."