Rites of Passage | Damian x OC

34. The Price of Forgiveness

cw: abuse; suggestive themes

~~~~~~

"Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?"
"We accept the love we think we deserve."
"Can we make them know we deserve more?"

"We can try."

~ Stephen Chbosky, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"

Chapter 34: The Price of Forgiveness

Making it onto the hockey team was one sliver of good news to hold her over for the next week. Since that unfortunate argument with Kade, it had been difficult doing, well, anything. No matter how hard she tried to focus on her schoolwork, distract herself by spending time with Misty or Damian, throw herself into the multiple tryout sessions at the local rink, practice on the ice by herself, her mind always landed in the same place.

"From where I'm standing, you're just as fucked up as I am... maybe more."

Had he really meant all those hurtful things he'd said? Not only had his words been so unexpected and malicious, but just his behavior in general felt without rhyme or reason. Everything about that night had felt like a verbal attack and defense in one. What had she done to warrant such backlash?

At school, he ignored her just like he did with her texts and calls. His eyes skimmed over her whenever they happened to be in the same vicinity, and he laughed with his friends as if nothing was wrong. Every time, it had her stomach twisting into knots of discomfort, wondering how long they would go being like this. It did nothing to help the anxiety that, in itself, was already unhelpful; she kept asking the same questions over and over again, struggling to reassure herself since he wasn't. And it wasn't like she wanted to turn to anyone else either — Misty was pretty much tuned in to what had happened, telling Jess that what the blond had said and done wasn't okay.

"Prioritizing stardust over you was shitty of him," she'd said.

As for Damian... well, he didn't know a thing. She'd done her best to act normal around him because she just knew that if he found out even a single detail about the argument, he would say things she didn't want to hear, maybe even do things she didn't want him to. Worst case scenario was that he would likely confront Kade himself.

And why would Jess want her friend to do that?

A little over a week after the unfortunate event, she was walking to class and listening to music with the new headset Misty had gifted her for her birthday. The volume was up to drown out any chatter or bothersome noise that she might encounter while traversing the hallways, so she didn't hear her name being called.

A hand closed around her upper arm, startling the brunette, but when she whipped around to snap at whomever it was, Jess took in the familiar, gray-blue eyes and felt the words stop in her throat.

"Jess," Kade said — more like mouthed since she couldn't hear him.

Pausing the music and hanging the headphones around her neck, she avoided his gaze and merely stood there. At this end of the hallway, it was just the two of them with no other students around. Kade was speaking up again, his voice quiet.

"I miss you."

Something pulled in her chest at his words, but Jess didn't say anything, unsure of what to say. She'd missed him, too, hadn't she? Despite how hurt their altercation had left her, that didn't mean she hadn't wished they were okay and hanging around each other, holding hands.

"Did you get in?"

Taking a deep breath, she decided to finally look at him. His cool eyes were examining her, making her skin crawl with familiar tingles that he'd always given her. "Yeah, I did."