The Soul Gem

Reconciliation

Ermac was shaken to say the least. His fusion meditation with Garnet had shown him something he never could have imagined...his purpose.

"What did you see with Garnet?" Pearl asked him, trying to make conversation with the now vulnerable Ermac.

"We...we saw shatterings...countless...shatterings...shatterings that formed a monster that we...we were afraid of for a reason we could not even perceive," Ermac explained, looking at his trembling hands and remembering all of what occurred during the meditation. What he saw, what he heard, what he experienced. The scattered emotions he felt, the splintering of his own being as he was confronted with the reality of his creation.

"That must have been intense, wasn't it?" Pearl asked again, trying to capitalize on Garnet's breakthrough to get Ermac to open up.

"It was...we were afraid...and we don't know why we were afraid," Ermac continued, putting his hand over his gem.

"That's good. It's good to be afraid. That means you're able to be brave, you have something to overcome," Pearl encouraged with a small smile.

"Why must we be brave?" Ermac asked.

"Bravery means you begin to grow into your own person," Pearl replied.

"We are not...our own person though. We are not meant to be our own person," Ermac denied, now self-aware of how he's not an individual. He's aware that he's a collective of gems, that he's not meant to exist as he is.

"Don't say that about yourself. Just because you're not a single gem by default doesn't mean you can't be your own person," Pearl tried to encourage.

"How do we be our own person then? If we do not see ourselves as an individual, how do we pretend to be one?" Ermac asked, his hands sparking with energy. As if he was about to try and blast himself with his own attack.

"We....we can't be an individual. Our gem is not our own...and we have no purpose to try and identify with," Ermac said in a dejected tone, leaning his head towards his glowing hands. His collective going to a very...very dark place. The world turning to noise and fuzz as his mind hyper focused onto his hands which began to arc closer towards his gem.

"Ermac!" Pearl yelled, snapping Ermac out of his self-destructive trance. His glance was towards Pearl, his glowing hands still dangerously close to his face.

"Don't do that! That's very bad for you!" Pearl scolded, pushing Ermac's hands down to his sides.

"Just...give this a few more chances. We're going to help you. That's what Little Homeworld is for, it's for helping gems that feel lost," Pearl begged.

"We...we do not know how much longer we can hold off...our mind is buzzing with our pieces struggling to come to a consensus...nothing is concrete....everything hurts," Ermac said, describing the turmoil he is still going through after his meditation with Garnet. Pearl herself is even starting to doubt her ability to try and help him, because she now recognizes that this isn't just a lost gem with no purpose anymore. This is now someone being exposed to who they are, and not enjoying the sight of themselves anymore. Not something that Pearl can relate to, but something Steven could...but Steven isn't here.

"Ermac. Go to Little Homeworld, find three gems. Peridot, Lapis and Bismuth. Maybe they'll have a better idea of how to help," Pearl instructed. Ermac gave a slight nod and began walking towards Little Homeworld, having Pearl's instruction repeating on loop. Meanwhile, Pearl went back to the Temple with the other Crystal Gems.

"He's not even lost in terms of a purpose anymore," Pearl began the conversation with.

"The image of himself is shattered," Garnet threw in.

"So what do we do? How do we help him?" Amethyst asked.

"WWSD. What Would Steven Do?" Amethyst added. The motto for what the Gems would turn to should their hybrid friend not be currently available.

"Well....we could always just..." Pearl trailed off, fidgeting at her cell phone.

"We're not calling Steven. He's busy trying to figure out how to be human. We can't tear him away from that," Garnet immediately shot down.

"Well...what if we can't do anything? We'll have to figure out something eventually," Pearl asked, bringing the conversation to a silent crawl. The possibility of not knowing how to help Ermac was real and it was dawning on them hard.

"Where did he go?" Amethyst asked.

"I sent him to Little Homeworld. Telling him to find Lapis and the others, to see how they will help him. If they can help him, rather," Pearl replied.

"That's good. Those three have a closer experience to what Ermac is going through. They should be able to get some more out of him," Garnet confirmed.

"Is that you being optimistic? Or is that you using Future Vision?" Pearl asked.

"Little bit of both. I'm hopeful that he can be helped. There are a few possible outcomes that lead to a more open Ermac after he meets Lapis, Peridot and Bismuth," Garnet replied. Meanwhile with Ermac, he wandered towards the Little Homeworld town. Still having Pearl's instructions on loop, to ensure that her words do not get lost amidst the ongoing mental static within Ermac's mind. The other Homeworld gems of Little Homeworld took notice of Ermac's presence, looking worried as he approached.

"Where are...Peridot, Lapis and Bismuth?" Ermac asked around, being directed towards the aforementioned trio of gems.

"Oh! Ermac! Welcome back, I see that you have... not opened up about yourself. Well, it does not matter. You are always welcome in Little Homeworld," Peridot said.

"We were told by Pearl to find you three," Ermac responded.

"Us? Pearl told you to find us?" Lapis asked. Ermac nodded without a word.

"The source of our...issue has changed. We...do not like...us," Ermac said, not fully knowing how to articulate his issues.

"You don't like yourself? Well why not?" Bismuth asked him.

"We are not...an individual," Ermac replied.