The Soul Gem

Reflection

Lapis is taking a crack at trying to break through to Ermac. Being part of a toxic fusion is something Lapis knows all too well. So she knows at least an inkling of what Ermac might be going through.

"So you don't like yourself. Let's start with that. Why do you not like yourself?" Lapis asked the amalgam.

"We are a horror. Gems that were forced to fuse into...into this," Ermac replied, raising his hand forward.

"I get what you mean. I was part of a bad fusion too...although I was able to get out...I'm sorry you all don't have that luxury," Lapis replied, recalling her experience trapped with Jasper as Malachite.

"How did you...get through it?" Ermac asked Lapis.

"Truth be told? There was a part of me that didn't want to leave it. There was a sense of...of power because I was the one holding it together and keeping it down," Lapis replied, remembering the power trip that came from having absolute authority over Jasper.

"How did you deal with it?" Ermac asked once more. Lapis replied by taking out a pencil and pad and handed it to Ermac.

"I started drawing my feelings out. Once I put my heart onto a page, I started feeling better," She added. Ermac took the pencil and quickly sketched something down and handed it back to Lapis.

"Wow. That was...Ermac this just has the word HELP written on it," Lapis said, looking at the paper with a confused look on her face. Ermac said nothing, he just nodded in confirmation.

"No...Ermac you don't use words to draw your thoughts," Lapis said as she tore the page out and gave the pencil and pad to him again. Ermac began rapidly sketching down several things, before handing the pad back to Lapis again about a minute later.

"...this is just a very extravagant HELP, Ermac," Lapis said with a sort of deadpan look to her face. Ermac nodded once more in confirmation.

"Ok. Since it seems like you're not...getting the picture. I want you to think about what's going through your mind right now. Put that on the page, and you're not allowed to just put the word HELP. No matter how much detailing you put in it," Lapis instructed in detail to make sure Ermac gets it through to him. Ermac had this look on his face, as if he was processing what he was told. Then Lapis gave him back the pencil and pad, and he immediately started sketching stuff down. He sketched for half an hour, and then handed the pad back to Lapis.

"Well. That was longer. There's no way you could put that much detail...into...the word AHHH!," Lapis screamed as she almost instinctually threw the pad away from her, upon seeing Ermac's drawing. The drawing was...monstrous to say the least. It was a monster, with thousands of arms and legs and millions of eyes. It was held together by chains made of light, and its gigantic singular mouth with an industrial wood chipper's worth of teeth was chewing what looked like a mountain. All covered with the cloaked trench coat that he had on currently. By all means, it was a twisted image of what Ermac is, all under a monstrous version of the shadow of Yellow Diamond.

"Will that suffice?" Ermac asked as Lapis hesitantly looked back at the drawing Ermac made.

"Well...could you...tell me what this drawing is?" Lapis asked, vaguely afraid but mostly curious  of what Ermac's reply would be.

"Is it not obvious? It is us," Ermac replied plainly.

"This isn't you. You don't look like this," Lapis denied, trying to goad a response.

"It is how we see ourselves," Ermac replied. Lapis was surprised at this statement, because a Gem's form often reflects their mental state. So if Ermac sees himself as this, why is he not rampaging as this....thing?

"Ermac. Have you ever looked in a mirror?" Lapis asked him. He tilted his head in confusion, as if not understanding the question.

"What is a mirror?" He asked the water gem. Lapis now had a better idea of what part of his problem was.

"Ermac, take your mask off and pull your hood down," Lapis instructed as she grabbed a water bottle and started pulling the water out of it to make into a reflective surface. Ermac's gem glowed as the mask started to fractal and recede into his body. He also reached to the edges of his hood and pulled it back. Now letting his hair out, as the chaotic thick black curly hair covered half of his face like Amethyst's hair would. Lapis made a reflective disk that was levitating in front of Ermac's face, letting him stare upon his own face.

"Who is...this?" He asked, touching his face. His reflection obviously mirroring his movements, as Ermac didn't recognize his own face.

"That's you, buddy. That's what you look like. See? Not a monster," Lapis said, making Ermac blink a bit in recognition.

"This is...us? We are...not a monster?" Ermac asked, brushing his hair out of his face to see himself fully and clearly.

"Nope. I don't know why you see yourself as a monster. Your form is actually rather unique for a gem," Lapis complimented.

"We do? We...we thought because of creation that we would be monstrous," Ermac said, still mesmerized by his own face and body.

"Well....instead of seeing yourself as a monster because of all of your pieces...think of yourself as a big family. Like you're the youngest child, and your parts are your guides to help you figure out who you are," Lapis suggested. Ermac tilted his head, this time in contemplation of Lapis's words.

"Want to try drawing what you think of yourself again? Once you finish, try heading to Peridot to see if you can get enrolled into Little Homeschool," Lapis instructed. Ermac turned to a new page, took the pencil and started drawing again. This time it took him two whole hours to finish his drawing, before handing it back to Lapis. After she saw him leave, Lapis looked at the drawing.

"Well that's much better," Lapis said with a small smile. The drawing was Ermac, as he was without his mask and hood surrounded by 10,000 other gems. Some were Sapphires, some were Rubies, some were Quartzes, even some Garnets thrown. A sapphire was holding his hand, while a ruby was sitting on his left shoulder. A Hessonite was giving him an instruction, like a mom giving a child an instruction. While a Jasper was patting him on the back with a smile on her face. The other gems were mulling about, some looking at Ermac and others just minding their own business.