Tum Mere Ho

Pain 2

Shiva's pov

It's been a weak since we came to our haveli ,
One weak since we both had a talk with each other. One weak since she looked at me , one weak since we distanced ourselves from each other..

I looked at the fire infront of me , while the priest continued chanting some mantra..

We all were here for a puja at the kuldevi mandir which was supposed to be performed my both the newly weds...
While dev and Rishita looked happy and enjoying these rituals , there was me and raavi who just came here for dhara bhabhi and gaumbi..

When priest asked as us take some vows I couldn't help but think what is the use of all these if someone is not able to keep them..

I slightly looked at her and found her looking no where , she was just standing here physically but not mentally..
I don't know whom I should feel more sorry for?
Her because she has to see the love of her life everyday with someone else and herself be with someone whom she hates a lot , or i should feel sorry for myself because I have started falling for her even after knowing that she could never love me..
I just wanted to cry my heart out after hearing her word form the other day ,

Flashback

It's been 3 days since we came to haveli and mami ki behen ki beti is not even talking to me , forget talking she is not even looking at me..
I know she hates me even more after that day , after our ki..

I couldn't help but think about that day , her confession ,her anger , her hate , everything was still fresh for me  and it ace my heart to see the sufferings that she was going through...

I was passing through the kitchen when I heard her talking to dhara bhabhi , thought I didn't wanted to eavesdrop their conversation I couldn't help it..

Raavi : maine apne dil ko samjha diya ha ki meri kismat main pyaar kabhi nhi tha aur naa kabhi hoga..

Dhara : aisa nhi ha raavi , hum sb tujhse bht pyaar krte ha aur...

Raavi : nhi dhara di , sb mujhse pyaar nhi krte ha...
Har din mujhe is dard ke saath jeena pad rha hai ki meri kismat main pyaar nhi likha ha bhagwan ne .Ki mujhse puri zindagi bina pyaar ke bitani padegi..
Kabhi kabhi toh maan krta ha ki apne dil ko seene se nikal ke bahar phek du taki ye dard khatam ho jaiye..Aisa kaun sa paap kiya tha maine jiski itni badi saza de rhe ha wo mujhe ...

Dhara bhabhi hugged her who started sobbing in her embrace like a small lost kid..
I can't see her crying like this ,so I walked away from there , before they could see me and before I hear something which breaks my already broken heart more...

I don't know why am feeling hurt, is it because she is talking about dev and that she still loves him or is it because I couldn't tell her what I fell for her..
I wish I could Console her , tell her that I love he..., But I can't I can't do that .
Seeing her crying like this made me realise that how big mistake I have made by marrying her , it was all Because of me that she has to go through this pain everyday...

I wish I could do something for her..I wish I could remove her pain..

Present day

While priest was tell us the meaning of the vows that we have to take , I looked at her and found her eyes watery...

I can't take this anymore..
I can't make her go through this pain ,she has to sit here looking at the love of her life taking vows with someone else..
I can't hurt her like this .
I got up from my seat and went from there , I could hear dhara bhabhi and  gaumbi calling me but I didn't stop i can't stay there , I have to go , otherwise she will have to go on with her pain and I don't want that, I don't want her to cry..