Tum Mere Ho

pain

Shiva's pov

Afters raavi's outbrust I was speechless yes she had confessed many time that she loves dev before marriage but knowing that even after all the thing that happened , still she has soft corner for dev broke my heart..
Don't ask why , I have no answer for it..

I camly placed her in the bed and looked at her ,at that moment I was very angry with dev , my eyes were portraying anger just for dev, how can he do something like this to raavi , I know I use to not like her but I never hated her , and whatever my equation with her use to be she didn't deserve all this..
People think I hate her , but no I don't hate her I just didn't liked her because of mami , I never actually hated her , I wish I could tell her that I don't hate her , In childhood there were lot of times when I wanted  to be friend with her and start fresh but it never happened...And after we had grown up she always use to talk about dev which use irritate me why I have no idea... Thought I made it look like it was because I hate her and mami I knew that was not the actual Reason..but I never gave another though to it..

I have seen her crazyness for dev , she was ready to die than to live without him and now she will be DIYING everyday because she is married to me , she has to see dev everyday with someone else and more than that she has to live with me..

Dosent Matter if dev is my brother ,at this point I hate him.. for what he did to the girl sitting infront of me.

I slowly looked at raavi and saw her eyes full of hurt, anger and pain , she hates me now because i married her , if i won't have married her she might not have to go with the torcher of seeing dev with someone else everyday...
She hates me , my mami ki behen ki beti hates me, the girl who didn't even hated me in our childhood , who didn't even for once hated me even when I pushed her towards a running truck now hates me because of the marriage..

Dev what have you done , ( tu toh apne life main bht khush ha sb mil gaya tujhe pr iska kya , iska toh sb khatam ho gya..)

It took all my courage to look at her because her eyes are holding the emotions I have never seen in her before HATE..

I kept looking at her while she looked down but I could figure out that she was crying silently and i don't know why I don't like her crying at all

Shiva : Rona band kr

Raavi : kyu ? Tujhe kya ha meri ankh , mere ansoo ab mere rone se bhi problem ha tujhe (slightly annoyed)

Shiva (concerned) : itna royegi toh bimar pad jaiygi

Raavi : haa toh tujhe kya , main bimar padu ya main maar jai tuj.....

Shiva: chup ek dam chup jb dekho marne marane ki baat krti ha..
Ek aur baar bola na toh

Raavi : bolungi , kyuki tu toh yahi chatha ha ki main maar jau..
Nafrat krta ha na mujhse toh isse behtar kya hoga ki main maar hi jao koi dushman nhi bachega tera phir tu b....

I don't know what came over me but I suddenly moved closer to her stoping her Blatter , her eyes went wide , I looked into her eyes and then looked  down at our lips that were touching each other slightly.. I again looked at her only to find her eyes closed..I don't know why I wanted to kiss her , and tell her that I lo....
before I could do anything else I remembered her word from before and how much she loves dev , and how hurt she was because of me..
I wanted to cry at that thought , I wanted to take that feeling out of my heart my brain my body from everywhere but I couldn't..
I looked at her with pain because I didn't knew how to tell her that I don't hate her , (nhi karta main tujhse nafrat , kabhi nhi ki ha , kash main tujhe bata sakta ki tere ansoo jaan nikal dete ha mere , tera dur jane ke khayal se bhi meri rooh kaap jati hai ..
Kaise batau tujhe main ye sb
Naa main kabhi khe paunga , aur naa tu kabhi samjh payegi..)
My heart screamed inside my chest but I know she couldn't hear that voice , no body has done...