Tum Mere Ho

pain 3

Raavi's pov

I stood next to shiva, listening to the vows that we have to take together..

While dev and Rishita were done with their puja, and were sent to perform some other rituals..
Shiva and I sat down again continuing the puja after gaumbi brought him back...
I could feel the change in his body language after he came back..

One hour before..

We were performing the puja which gaumbi has arranged for both the newly weds..
Thought we both sat there for gaumbi and dhara di's happiness i could feel him being lost in his own thoughts..

It felt good to stand close to him ,after so many days, because it's been a weak we had a talk , while I was waiting for him to start the conversation because he left me that day , I know he won't because it doesn't matter to him whether I talk to him or not..I tried to ignore him and my feelings for him but i couldn't help and feel hurt remembering his face from that day after he came back from the washroom...
The pain and hurt on his face was not going out from my sight and I really don't know what I should do...

I looked at dev and Rishita who were  happily performing the puja and taking their vows..
I couldn't help but feel my eyes watery when I realised that this vows hold no value in our life..
I so wish I could tell him what I feel for him..
Tell him that I lo...but I can't..

Yes I feel for him andi have accepted that fact but I also know that he could never feel for me the same way..
I closed my eyes remembering the exact moment when I realised that I love him because that was the most happiest and the saddest moment of my life at the same time

Flashback

(A/n :the same day shiva heard them talking in the kitchen)

It's been 3 days since we came to the haveli. 3 days since we talked..
He has been avoiding me from that day itself , after our moment and I couldn't help but feel more hurt that one incident , one incident made him stop talking to me.
made him avoid me ,  made him stop fighting with me..
That's the amount if hate he has for me..isn't it
Even after that I was waiting for him to start a conversation or atleast look at me but he has been completely avoiding me..
It felt as if we don't even exist for each other..

I was making tea for everyone , trying to keep myself busy so that I won't be thinking about him..
I was ingrossed in my thoughts when I heard dhara di coming to the kitchen

Dhara : khud ko distract krne ke liye kaam kyu kr rhi ha raavi , jo baat ha wo bol ke toh dekh..Maan halka hoga..

Raavi: kuch baat nhi ha di , aur agar ha bhi toh kisko bolu aur kya hi bolo ,bolne ko kuch bacha kaha ha..

Dhara : kyu shiva ha usee bol , wo tera pat..

Raavi: majburi main shaadi ki ha usne dhara di , aur chaiye aap ya koi aur kitni bhi kosish kr le is rishte hi sacchai nhi badal sakta ha ..

Dhara: aisa nhi ha raavi , thoda waqt de sb theek ho jaiyega.

Raavi: waqt dene se sachai nhi badal jayegi dhara di , is rishte ki sachai yahi ha ki wo nafrat krta ha mujhse aur,kahi na kahi  maine apne dil ko samjha diya ha ki meri kismat main pyaar kabhi nhi tha aur naa kabhi hoga..

Dhara : aisa nhi ha raavi , hum sb tujhse bht pyaar krte ha aur...

Raavi : nhi dhara di , sb mujhse pyaar nhi krte ha...
Har din mujhe is dard ke saath jeena pad rha hai ki meri kismat main pyaar nhi likha ha bhagwan ne .Ki mujhe puri zindagi bina pyaar ke bitani padegi..
Kabhi kabhi toh maan krta ha ki apne dil ko seene se nikal ke bahar phek du taki ye dard khatam ho jaiye..Aisa kaun sa paap kiya tha maine jiski itni badi saza de rhe ha wo mujhe ..