Waste It On Me ( BTS Namjoon x Reader)

Part 4 - Chapter 1

June 3rd 2019 – London airport

‘I’ll text you when I land, love you x’ you press send. A reply comes in quickly from ‘Mum’ – ‘safe flight, love you too xx’.
You drop your phone into your carry-on bag; leaving your belongings in the seating area you’ve found in the empty business-travel lounge, you cross to the bar area to order some fruit and a coffee to have before your flight to Seoul. You hate flights this early, but it means you can arrive and spend a whole day regulating your body clock before your presentations.
You carry your breakfast over to your seat and look in your bag trying to find your book, hoping to pass some time before your flight. You hear more people entering the business lounge and look up.
Even though you are awaiting a flight to Seoul, you heart jumps when you see a group of Korean travelers, the group are subdued and quiet for this this time in the morning, most wearing face masks to travel. You do a scan at the first few members of the group as they walk in, realising with disappointment that you don’t recognise them.

It’s been 6 months since you’ve last spoken to Namjoon and you still feel a little hollow – you wonder if after that phone call, if he has actually taken back the little part of him that lived inside you.
You have travelled to Seoul a few times for work over those months, and can admit to always doing a quick half-glance around coffee shops you go to, or doing a double-take at any guy who is slightly taller than the rest. You had spent the Christmas period totally miserable, then, with Amanda’s help had resigned yourself to the New Year – reflecting and accepting that ending things with Joon - whatever they were - was for the best.
Amanda has tried to get you back out dating, but even after 6months, you don’t feel ready yet. Even after seeing Sam change his status to ‘in a relationship’ on Facebook with a cute looking girl, you prefer to stay alone. You know you are going to need a long period of time to heal up the part that feels missing.
Even last night, as you finished packing and climbed into bed early, your mind had gone back to Namjoon. You’d sank back in the pillows, remembering him above you, remembering the lovely words he’d said – that even after everything he had done with BTS, looking at you had been some of his favourite memories.
There are times you feel so stupid, you have only met Joon in person twice - but the long talks and honest emotions had been so real. There are times when you want nothing more than for him to call or text – somehow pushing through the blocked technology and to make contact. You know that would only reset the clock and one call would send you back to the start to get over him all over again. Part of you isn’t sure you want to get over him at all.

***

“Jin-hyung”, your heart stops at the sound of the deep voice passing over a coffee order in Korean.
Your heart kicks painfully against your ribcage, your eyes filling with tears instantly at the force of emotion, you realise you have been numb for the past 6 months – standing up automatically, searching for him, finally feeling. You body fills with a wave of heat, almost tingling remembering all of the lovely things he has said to you, the way his eyes widen in awe when the skype calls connected, his laugh, his smile.
“Namjoon” you hear your own voice travel clearly across the disserted lounge, you scan the small crowd, a head rises, his eyes meet yours.
Tears roll down your cheeks silently, the force of your heart pounding in your chest is almost painful. Your knees shaking as he crosses the lounge towards you, the rest of the members stepping out of his way, “Namjoon?” one of the staff warns behind him.
He stops 2 paces from you, you have missed the way his eyes search your face, his lips parting into a small surprised O. You smile, trying to wipe the tears so you can see him clearly, his eyes start to sparkle, his Adams Apple bobs.
“I love you” you finally say the words, you expect your voice to be shaky, but it comes out clear – the words feel like they have been bottled up inside you.
He closes the space between you – bending to wrap you into an enveloping hug, his heart hammering, his exhales shuddering against your neck. He is warm and solid, and smells just as you remember, and you decide, across all the miles and difficulties that this hug is where you belong, “can we make it work?” you whisper against his collarbone.
He pulls away from the hug, his jaw locked tight. Your stomach drops when you see his face, suddenly feeling that you have totally misjudged how he feels. He had wanted to end it so he could get over you... and meet someone new. Your heart pounds and more tears fall down your cheeks. 
“yes...” he finally breathes, sounding on the verge of tears. Your chest fills at his words. He cups your face, wiping away your tears.
The smile on his face is perfect, you decide you’ll do anything to be able to look at it forever.