Another poem book because I have learned how to write not as shitty poems

Few short ones

Last update for the day. I might be in the middle of world history right now but who knows?

Will probably be back in like 3 months

These chapters are always like a dump of my notes app but I love simple and sweet poems ya know. 

—-

He asked how much I loved him

I said I couldn't say

For the fear he'd know how I really saw him everyday

I wasn't worried

That he'd take it the wrong way

Cause how do you tell somebody

You never loved them

And expect them to be okay?

——

You said

No one

Gives you

Butterflies anymore

I asked

"Where did they all go?"

You said

The men you loved

Scared them all away

I asked your grave

"Why didn't you trust the butterflies"

They had something to say"

——-

I always wanted to die but I know

That I'll have to clean up the clutter that I made

With shaky hands, only adding to the mess

Momma would be disappointed in how my blood stained the tile

And father would yell at me to clean it up

But I am, I am

Im cleaning up their little mess

——-

I don't smoke

But I wish I did

So I could see the whole world

For more than it is

——

I find comfort in the fact

That I lost a love I could never get back

——-

I keep making myself reasons to live

But they too turn into reasons I wish to die

I'm holding on to the temporary,

The replaceable,

Nothing-

Cause it all slips through my fingers

Like water

Till I wonder why I thought for a second

Anything is a good enough reason to live

Because I have nothing

So it's what I must hold on to

———

I don't know why the fingers wind

themselves around my throat

When lips utter words that should endear-

but I only feel fear,

I only feel shame,

I only feel pain

When you say

they care

And the words I thought I longed to hear

Hold no meaning anymore

You have lost your chance to make me want your love

Nonetheless be comfortable enough to accept

And I can't tell you why

My eyes prick up sometimes

When I think about how she said

"They care about you so much"

And she thought she was doing good,

She thought it was good on the mind

But really it only hurt

It hurt so damn bad

No- no don't you lie

Don't you lie to me no more

I thought you'd realized that I'm not a naive kid no more

I see through the smiles, I see through the lies, I see through the things no where near "kindness"

Don't you care,

Don't you lie,

Im fine with not being loved

I'm fine.

———

Are we all just born

with a fixed amount of love

That some give out like roses

and others protect just for one

What I really want to know,

though,

is if some are born with none

——

Hit the table with another slam

Such a repetitive game

Cold, boney fingers making tiny earthquakes

And leaving something to be desired

Or destined

In their wake

But it never comes

Tap tap tap

They say we all fall down

Yet sometimes we don't

And that's the hardest part:

The end that comes even when we haven't given up

I'm not going to lie, the last one I literally just made after seeing my mom tap on a table. I was like "write that down, write that down"