'Love Bad Things

Chapter 16

I won't tell a soul

I can't sleep last night. I just can't. Matapos ko kasi naalala ang lahat na nangyari no'ng gabe na iyun ay hindi na ako pinapatulog ng hiya ko. And I hate my brain for functioning very late. Parang sinadya talaga ng tadhana na maalala ko iyun sa ganoon situwasyon, kung saan kasama ko si Chaeyoung. Siguro iniisip na niya na may gusto ako sa kanya dahil ginawa ko iyun. When in fact, I was just really drunk and stupid. Oh god, I feel like I am going to have a headache.

I wanted to clarify everything to her. She might mistook it. Is it the reason why she had a gut to kissed me last time? I don't want to have a misunderstanding with her. I don't want to put my myself in a frame with them, Chaeyoung and Ciro. Baka mamaya ako pa ang makakasira ng relasyon nila. Ayaw ko naman magmukhang one-sided love iyung situwasyon namin dahil sa kasalanan na nagawa ko.

Lumingon ako kung saan nakalagay ang paper bag na naiwan ko kagabe sa tambayan ni Chaeyoung. Inihatid ito ni Yam sa kuwarto ko kanina. Chaeyoung told her that it her gift for me. Hindi ko na raw kailangan isauli sa kanya. Of course I have no choice but to leave it there. Ayaw ko naman humaba pa ang usapan namin. Kinuha ko ang papel at binasa ulit ito. It was a letter from Chaeyoung, she left a letter in a paper bag.

It's yours, you don't have to return it.

That was written in the letter with her symbol on it. It was a circular with a picture of a tree on it. But when you look at it keenly, the tree has a silhouette image of a falcon. Ang pabilog na imahe naman ay may maliit na nakaukit na ahas at saka ugat ng puno. Walang ibang kulay ito maliban sa itim kaya naman pahirapan din makita ang mga maliliit na imahe na nakaukit dito. Naalala ko noon na magkaiba ang simbolo na ginagamit ni Yam sa simbolo niya. She was the only one who used this symbol for anything. Because this symbol says about her.

I feel the shivers in my skin, the reason why I threw the letter. Parang naramdaman ko ang presensya ni Chaeyoung dahil sa sulat at simbolo doon sa papel. Kahit wala siya rito, pakiramdam ko nandito lang siya.

Kinuha ni Yam ang papel na itinapon ko, doon ko lang siya napansin. Nagtataka siyang pinulot ang papel sabay lingon sa gawi ko.

"Why did you throw it?"she asked in confusion.

I was sitting above my bed. Madiin kong ipinikit ang aking mga mata at saka ginulo ang aking buhok. Naramdaman kong tumabi sa akin si Yam.

I looked at her. "Yam, I remember everything."

She squinted her eyes as if she has no idea What I am talking about. "What?"

Umalis ako sa aking kama at saka lumapit sa kanya. My eyes couldn't help but to wander. I played my fingers unconsciously.

Yam noticed my odd behavior so she asked me again.

"What do you mean you remember everything?"she asked, her tone became calm.

Ngunit imbes na sagutin ko siya, tinignan ko ito sa mata. I couldn't say a word so by looking at her eyes, I believed, she would understand what I am trying to say. I bit my lips in hoping that she would comprehend it.

And I didn't fail, because her eyes tell me that she got it. Her face was neutral before, but now I could see that she's laughing her ass off me. She even covered her mouth and shook her head before she speaks.

"Don't tell me... Naalala mo na ang lahat na nangyari sa'yo no'ng lasing ka?"she said in disbelief. "Oh my god, Mina! Mag-iisang buwan na matapos ang birthday ng tatay ni TJ, ngayon mo lang naalala? The heck?"she exclaimed.

I was asking the same thing, Yam.

Maybe I was just too preoccupied about something. Actually, I don't even know. At bakit sa lahat ng mga alaala ko, 'yun pa ang hindi ko maalala? Maybe... My brain rejected that memory because it is too much for me. And doing it with another girl is a mistake, a big mistake. Why would kiss Chaeyoung by the way? What urges me to do it?