𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ◇ ChanLix

Ch. 1

Felix POV

"Minnie- you're gonna be late for school come on down here and get your stuff on!" I called up the stairs.

When I got no response I sighed and trailed upstairs. When I got down the hallway and to his bedroom door I saw him sitting on his bed swinging his legs.

He didn't look at me, but rather his feet, "Minnie?" His head sprung up when he heard his name.

"Did you not hear me when I called?" He shook his head. "Alright, well c'mon. You need to get your stuff on for school."

He nodded and stood up to go grab his backpack from the ground near his closet.

"What will you be doing today?" I tried to prompt him to talk to me.

He shrugged, "Not sure." And walked past me.

Normally he was a really nice kid, but occasionally he would have some sort of trigger and become really reserved.

Sometimes it's a dream, sometimes it's an item, and sometimes it's simple everyday objects.

I once had to hold him through a panic attack over an apple with a bite out of it that had been placed on the counter just wrong.

He was a fragile child.

I watched him shuffle down the stairs and turn away towards the door. I wish I could be there after school for him but I had an appointment.

I worked at a psychiatric hospital for 'disturbed' children. It was for small kids and youth with trauma or P.T.S.D. sometimes child abuse, injuries, even extensive bullying. Any traumatic experience really.

I come in when I have appointments or sessions with the kids. I talk to them and treat it like therapy. I do one on one stuff or even lead group therapy.

I get the information to treat them for their problems. I specialize in many things. Normally it would take around 12 years to get a graduates and license to practice psychiatry, but I graduated early on 7.

My job is actually how I met Min-Jun. He was just 9 when I first met him. Straight out of one of the most abusive households I've seen in a while.

Something about him stuck with me and I ended up saying I would foster him at only 24 years old. One of the best decisions I've ever made.

When I had successfully grabbed my things from my room, I made my way back to the front entrance where Min was standing and waiting.

"I have to go into work today, but I should be back by 4, so Bubba is gonna pick you up for the hour that I'm away." I referred to my own mother as 'Bubba'.

He nodded. I wonder what got him this time.

I slipped my jacket on after my shoes and opened the door. "Alright buddy. Off we go."

He walked out to the Grey Nison Altima parked in the drive way.

When I got in beside him and started the car I broke the silence. "So, what happened? You seem pretty down."

He shrugged.

"Did something trigger you? Is it something I can fix?"

He shrugged.

"Minnie, you know you can tell me right? It's good to get things off your chest. I can take it." I pulled out onto the road.

"Just a dream." He whispered.

"Ok. Dreams can hurt. I understand." I said. Because I'm a psychiatrist a have an upper hand on knowing how to help Min.

I have a good sense on his personality and such. It's weird though, I can understand people around me easily, but never myself.

I guess that's how it always is though. Our own mind can blind us from our problems. Ironic if you ask me.

-

When we walked into school I headed straight for his homeroom teacher.

"Mr. Hwang? Hey, could I have a moment of your time?" I asked politely.

"Of course. What can I help you with?" He crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head.

"Min-Jun seems to be triggered by something today, I just wanted to let you know incase something happened." I motioned to the boy now unpacking his stuff at his desk.

"Oh ok. Thank you for telling me, I'll make sure to take that into consideration." He smiled.

He knew about Min's situation and how he can be pretty enclosed in his own mind. Kind of like a wall to protect him from being hurt.

"Alright, that's all I wanted to say. Thanks-" I was starting to turn away when he talked to me again.

"Oh, Mr. Lee, we're you planning on coming to bring a parent to school day? I'm sure Min-Jun told you." He kinked his eyebrows together.

"Oh yeah. I really wanted to, but I might be busy that day. I really hope I'm not, but if I can help it I'll be there." I lied.

Jun hadn't told me a thing about 'bring a parent to school day'. Maybe he didn't want me to come.

Mr. Hwang smiled again. "Ah great. I hope to see you there."

"Me too." I smiled back. That was the and of that.

I'm not going to lie, the fact that Min hadn't told me about this hurt. It had been almost two years now and he still didn't seem to see me as any sort of parent.

He called me my name. Felix. Not dad, or daddy, or papa, or even father. I kind of felt excluded from his life.

Like I wasn't really in it, just there taking care of him. How can I blame him though? He trusted his birth parents and look how that turned out. 9 years of mental, physical and even sexual abuse.

He held up walls that I couldn't get passed. All I was to him was a sort of friend. I know I had no right to feel bad about it, he was just doing what his mind told him too.

He felt like he couldn't let me in or he was gonna get hurt. Like I might start to hurt him like his own dad did.

He went so far as to kill his old best friend infront of him- sorry, not kill. He tourtered his best friend to death infront of his own son just to make him feel bad.

What kind of sick fuck does that? And after wards, to not face what you've done, but just shoot yourself when the cops show up?

Every time I look at him when he's sad, I can't help but see his face when he was just a little boy entering our hospital.

Crying non-stop, just asking for his home back. News flash, he wasn't going back. His father was dead and his mom was in jail.

The poor boys been traumatized beyond repair. Not that you can ever fully heal after something like that.

1170 words

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