𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ◇ ChanLix

Ch. 49 (Back to normal)

Felix POV

I was sitting at my desk at work when my phone started to buzz. I finished up my last notes ob a patient and looked down.

I froze and stared at the speaker ID for a moment. Finally. I hoped this would happen.

It was Chan calling and I can not even explain how grateful I am about that. Maybe I could fix things.

I picked up my phone waited for two rings, to make sure it didn't seem like I was sitting there waiting for a call, and answered.

"Hello..?" I said when I put the phone to my ear. For a split second I heard nothing in return.

In that small moment I felt like my chest might explode. What if he was even more angry?

What if it was a butt dial and didn't actually want to talk to me at all? There were so many things that it could possibly be.

Then, as soon as the panic started, it stopped when I heard his smooth voice across the line.

I always liked listening to him talk, but this was so different. I didn't just want to hear his voice, I needed to hear his voice.

I needed him to tell me I had a chance to make things right, that I might possibly be able to fix this whole fucked up situation.

"Hey Felix." He said kind of blandly. He clearly didn't want me to know whatever emotion he was feeling.

"Hi, I'm so glad you called." I said trying to withhold the fact that I might almost be on the verge of tears.

"Yeah, we kinda need to talk. Are you free?" He asked with a little bit of a lighter tone.

"I'm just working overtime in the office but I don't have anymore meeting so I can probably leave in about 15 minutes."

I already started to pack up my things. He wanted to talk, this was good. He might just be a out to break things off, but at least I have a chance to say something.

Even if that chance was as small as 20 seconds, I was still going to take it. I could fit a lot into 20 seconds.

"Great. How about 5:45 at my house." He suggested.

I nodded vigorously but then realized he couldn't see me, "Yeah, that works great. See you then."

"Alright. Bye."

And just like that the phone call ended. It felt so empty, and I got this sharp pang of pain in my heart.

There was no emotion, no feeling, no gossip about the other moms, and last but not least..

It didn't end with an 'I love you'.

It felt wrong, like anything we ever worked towards I our time together as a couple was being thrown our the window.

Who's fault is that?

Bingo. It's my fault. I did this, I messed all this shit up and I really needed a way to fix it.

If he didn't give me another chance I would probably end up sobbing in self pity for hours on end.

Not even Minnie would be able to make me feel okay again, and that's rare.

I can't blame him though. He's not the one who hurt his child, I am.

. . .

When I knocked on his door I felt my heart start to race out of my chest and my palms got all clamy.

I was sweating and the anxiety I once had at least I little bit under control, was completely free of restraint.

I saw the door nob start to turning then it opened. I was greeted with the most amazing face I had ever seen.

Chan looked so gorgeous even just standing there, and I all of a sudden just knew, I knew how much I messed up.

I was always aware that I had scored good by snagging Chan, but never had the thought hit so hard.

How had I even managed to keep him around for 4 months? I should have known that one way or another, I would pull something like this and he would realize who I really was.

A self centered, sleep deprived, manipulating little bitch.

I honestly wondered how he hadn't seen this sooner. Maybe he was thinking about the same thing.

About how after a while my true colours show through and everyone around me starts to doubt anything they loved about me.

Maybe nobody loved anything about me in the first place, maybe they simply felt bad and then after a while they got tired of feeling bad for me.

They realize why I was all alone in the first place, and maybe I was just better for both parties that I was by myself.

I'm sure I would just end up hurting someone like I hurt Daehyun and Chan.

Now the man that I love hates my guts and I'm never going to find anyone quite like him.

Someone to hold me while I cry, or realize when they're wrong, to love me like he did. He was perfect.

I swallowed a lump in my throat. Anytime but this was the right time to cry. I can, not, cry.

"Hi Chan.." I managed to whisper. What was wrong with me? Why am I not able to just face him.

"Hey, come in.. I think uh.. we should chat.." he said picking out his words carefully as he opened the door more for me.

I took a step and and blinked back tears that rimmed my eyes. I cleared them up and took off my shoes.

Chan went and sat down on the chair in his living room. I trailed behind him closely as he looked down at the floor.

"So, uh.. " he started to talk, but before he managed to finish I had to get a quick word in.

"I know you might he about to break up with me and I respect that, you can do what you want, bit please can I explain what I was thinking when I fucked this whole thing up? I want to fix this problem- or at least try, so that maybe, just maybe, you can love love again..?"

He blinked. When he said nothing it worried me to my very core. Did I just make this worse.

Finally, he said something..

"Felix, baby, I never stopped loving you."

1126 words

Hey, so I was thinking, I want to make a minsung book on its own, not a play off of this one, but something completely different.

About Jisung being rich and Minho being a body guard or sum shit I dunno. Tell me if you would maybe be interested in that.

Stay safe, wear a mask and I love you ♥️