𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ◇ ChanLix

Ch. 46

Felix POV

It was something like 3am and I was laying in bed after a long day of hating the living shit out of myself.

How could I believe that? How could I believe that Dae-Shin being back had nothing to do with Dae being sad.

That was the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard.

I should have known, and even if I didn't, I should have told Chan. Daehyun was his son and he deserved to know.

I swung my legs out if bed and placed my feet on the cold hardwood. I needed something to drink.

I slowly grumbled my way down the steps and into the living room.

It was really dark with no lights on so I had to flick a switch in the kitchen. I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the light.

I popped the fridge door open and took out the pitcher of water along with a cup and poured some about halfway to the top.

I drank it and sat it back on the counter.

My eyes stung from crying but I knew I couldn't complain. Chan had a right to be mad at me.

I lost him. He was probably thinking about what I'd done right now.

What kind of idiot does something like that? I don't care if Dae wanted me not to tell him, it was better I lost his trust than him being hurt.

It was basically all my fault that Daehyun went through all of that.

He told me only 1 month into the 4 month time period when we went out for ice-cream together.

When he told me that he wouldn't say what was wrong we moved on to a different conversation and ended up accidentally telling me she was back.

Obviously I was concerned but he convinced me it was nothing and that he had a plan for it all.

Because of that plan I wasn't allowed to tell Chan about any of it. I should have seen this coming.

I slumped down to the floor and put my head in my palm I'm, "God, thats so fuckibg stupid." I mumbled to myself.

"What is?" My head shot up to see a curious Min standing over me, "Are you crying?"

I quickly wiped away any tears on my face and shook my head, "No I'm okay."

He sat down beside me right before I was about to get up.

"What's wrong?" He asked looking up at me with wide curious eyes.

"No, no. Its nothing. What are you doing up this late?" I sniffed my nose.

"I heard you get up. I wanted to see what was going on." He leaned his head on the island cabinet behind him.

His head was still tilted towards me and his shoulder was also leaned against the cupboard door.

"Oh, I was just getting water. I got a little thirsty, nothing to worry about." I tried to sound as nonchalant as I could.

He shook his head, "Why were you crying?" He asked again.

"Seriously Junnie, it's nothing." I layed my head against the island and looked up on an angle to the ceiling.

"You always help me when I'm sad, so let me help you. What's wrong?" He insisted again.

"It's not your job to take care of me, I should be watching over you not the other way around. I know what I signed up for." I smiled warmly and looked back up.

"You signed up for a child. That means we take care of each other." He persisted.

"Okay look, I did something bad, and now Chan is mad. Nothing big." I finally let in to his nagging.

"What did you do?"

Wow. He sure had a lot of questions that he wanted to ask me about this. Was it really that important?

"I don't want to talk about it." I said simply, "You should go to bed."

"No, you always make me talk about my mistakes. What makes you different?" He shook his head.

Damn. He got me there.

"I'm the care taker here, your the kid." I know that was cliche. Using the fact that you make the rules to get out of things.

He shook his head again, "So? You still have to tell me."

"If I do will you go to bed?" I sniffed again.

He nodded, "Mhm."

"Okay look..." As I explained what I had done he kept a straight face like he wasn't even judging me.

I'm sure he would make a good therapist. I raised him well- but anyway, he seemed very calm.

When I was done he simply nodded and took a moment to think about it in order to respond.

"You need to apologize." He finally said.

I laughed a bit, "You think I haven't? Buddy he's angry. I kept a secret from him that hurt his child, his child." I made sure to emphasize.

"I know."

"As a parent myself, I know exactly how much we care about our children, and if someone kept something like that from me about you, I know I would be mad. I might not even forgive." I shook my head.

"But this is Chan we're talking about. You were convinced, not to mention Dae begged you not to."

"But that's his son, he doesn't care if he doesn't want him to know about it. This import to him."

"He loves you though. I'm sure he can see your point of view, it's not entirely your fault."

"Did you even hear the story? I hurt his kid." I closed my eyes and sighed, "How could I I that?"

"Simple, you did it indirectly, and, under the impression that it was the right thing."

"Thats the thing though, I knew I should have told him even before I found out the truth. I can't keep secrets like that from him."

I wrapped my arms around my torso and brought my knees a little closer. This was my fault.

"I'm sure you two can work it out. You both mean a lot to each other- for God's sake, you had sex with him."

My eyes shot open and I looked at him in disbelief, "How do you know that?"

"I can see the hickies on your collar bone right now." He pointed out. I blushed and cover them with my shirt.

"Either way, you need to go to bed." I looked away. I needed a new concealer.

"Fine." He stood up, "Love you dad." And he walked away.

It felt so weird for him to call me dad but I loved it. It made me feel so special.

1141 words

Hey hey hey. Just a little fun time with Min and Felix.

Anyway, how is your day going? Good I hope :)

Stay safe, wear a mask and I love you ♥️