Solace (Walking Dead/Rick Grimes)

Lost Causes

I burst into the bedroom Jesse and I had slept in last night, only meeting the made bed. I walked toward the window, staring out the grimy windowpane into the endless cluster of trees.

"They're not around the perimeter." Rick stood under the doorway, exasperatedly running a hand through his hair.

I stormed past him, heading towards the door.

"Where are you goin?" Rick called out, his footsteps sounding far behind me.

"I'm going to look for my son."

"You're not going out there alone. What good will you be to your son if you get lost or hurt tryin to be the hero?" His tone was serious. I glared at him, riled up with the fact that he could remain so calm while everyone was gone. He stared back, unfazed.

"Rick!" Maggie yelled outside. I broke Rick's gaze, turning and hurrying outside.

Maggie and Gabriel stared at Glenn, who was bent down examining something.

"What is it? What did you find?" I stopped when I saw what it was. A blue rubber duckie, the face peeling a little.

"Tha-That's Jesse's." I grabbed for it, holding the small plastic toy in my hand. It had been his bath time toy as a toddler, and when things got worse, that was one thing he carried around, as a memento maybe, of the easier times. I stared at it, desperation clawing at my throat.

"What do we do?" Maggie crossed her arms, her face anxious.

"We wait." Rick answered.

I looked at him in utter disbelief. "Your people go missing, and that's your answer? To wait?"

"They'll come back. And we will meet them here. Your son is in good hands. All of them, including my boy, have picked up something on protection and making wise choices."

"And you're so trusting like that with your daughter?"

Rick visibly tensed his jaw, but he nodded. "She is in good hands with them. I know they will come back. This isn't the first time we've been separated. And it probably won't be the last. But we always end up finding a way back to each other once again."

I looked at Maggie and Glenn. Although their faces showed doubt, they nodded. Gabriel simply looked onward to the forest, and then to the cabin.

"Let's go in. It's getting dark." Rick started to the cabin, and so did Glenn, Maggie, and Gabriel.

I turned away from them.

"Ana." Rick stood under the doorway, expectant.

"No."

"No what?"

"I am not going to wait for something to happen. We're not in the time to gamble with the pleasure of waiting. You might think something is fine, but I don't. All I know is my son is missing and it's getting dark. I am going to find him."

"Don't make a foolish decision Ana. Think of Jesse coming back to find out that something's happened to you."

"The only way Jesse will come back is if I find him. You're trusting old actions Rick, but they can't always replicate themselves." I looked towards the forest, breathing in as I hear a few crickets start chirping.

"You're not going to go, and make me tell the boy that his mama died cause she made a rash decision. Ana!" I started to walk, straightening up my backpack.

"Damn it." I heard Rick mutter and then the crunch of grass as he power walked to me. He grabbed my backpack and yanked me back, but I kept walking. He wrapped his arms around my waist, stopping me from taking another step.