Star Wars: Edge of Hope

Chapter Fifty Six: Hard Truths & Lessons to Learn...

The shivering reverberation of the voices evaporate on the the wind as Rey looks over across Ben to see Obi-wan looking out at the rising suns. She hadn't taken the time to process what had happened in the other place she'd found herself. She hadn't yet told Ben everything she'd seen & learned while trapped there. But as she stood there looking at Obi-Wan she felt the weight of what lay ahead slowly descend on her. She'd seen the same pain in her face when Ben had turned away from her in the throne room. She'd seen it in his eyes when she'd closed the door to the Falcon on Crait. This blank emptiness which burned as it touched the fractured edges of the every moment she'd lost. It seemed almost another lifetime ago she was alone on Jakku oblivious to any of this, & from time to time she even wondered if perhaps she'd made the right choices. There had always been this part of her she'd known was there waiting quietly for the moment to rise to the surface. But she hadn't realized what would come with its awakening.

Family.
Love.
Friendship.
Belonging.
Hope.
Fear.
Dispair.
Acceptance.
Uncertainty.
Courage.
Belief.

So many things she'd not trade for all the world. So many things which had left their marks on her & some she'd even left on them, but what was it all for? Rey feared they'd all fallen into the repeating lines being etched in their history as they'd been written on her grandfathers. Rey knew very little about the true nature of what she carried inside herself. Her training had been cut short & even though now she had more control of her abilities...the understanding behind it all still evaded her. She had the unsettling feeling that if she couldn't find a way to push through the barrier between the past & her future, things would be doomed to repeat for another age. Looking down at the saber in her hands she made her way over to wear Obi-Wan stood...for a few moments they were just two outlines on the edge of the world looking as the warmth of the mornings rays reached out to enfold them. FInally, Obi-Wan spoke...

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I know what you're going to ask of me, Rey. Which is why I must tell you no...I cannot...

Rey: I understand. But..I don't know what to do anymore...I'm losing myself in all of this. It's...it's just too big. How does the fate of an entire galaxy fall on the shoulders of so few? How can that be the will of the Force? How are we supposed to carry that...it's not fair.

Obi-Wan smirked at her last comment...

Rey: What? What is it?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Anakin used to say the same thing during the war. He had a lot on his shoulders, I didn't know how help him...I tried, but I just couldn't...it wasn't enough. Granted, I didn't know everything he was contending with & perhaps that's my fault as well, I shoul have seen what was happening to him. Which I'm sure is how Luke felt about young Ben over there. But teachers...particularly Jedi...have a blind spot when it comes to connections. I was always taught to detach myself from anything which pulled my focus away from the oath I'd taken & my responsibilites. It wasn't something I ever questioned, not like Anakin anyways, but perhaps if we had things could have been different. I know you feel lost in all of this Rey, but I'm not the one you should turn to for guidance. Which is why I asked Ahsoka to help you, she's waiting in the temple for you. Rey, you may not understand my reasons. But after seeing your mother & Umbra...I just can't ...I don't have it in me to send someone I love, someone I don't want to lose...into the Darkness. Not when all I want is for you to be safe. I guess, Qui-Gonwas right after all...hmmph...things are not always so as simple as good versus evil. You would have liked him I think, he was a very wise man, you remind me a bit of him. Qui-Gon lead with his heart, it's why he was able to read Anakin when he found him on Tatooine, & why he made me promise to train him.