Star Wars: Edge of Hope

Chapter Eleven: The String & The Thread..

Rey sat there trying to shake the feeling that she was...alone. The comfort she once garnered from the connection to the Force had brought her such peace and Hope. It had brought her to him. But now as she reached back to remember those memories, those moments they burned her like fire. She could hear his voice in her mind and it pulled on something inside of her, something that made her feel like a child again gazing up at empty skies filled with untouchable stars. There was an aching she'd never known before Ben Solo. A feeling of being incomplete...of being unfinished and left behind without anyone to hold her or make her what she was meant to be. As Rey sat back up in her cot she turned her head and the shock of it almost threw her back.
She saw his face, solid and clear as it ever had been...but not like this. There was nothing that told her this wasn't true...and that made it even more dangerous, trusting what you see can lead you to places you shouldn't go.

Rey: Ben? Is it...Are you...?

The way he smiled at her, the way his eyes looked at her lips as they trembled speaking his name, and they way they held on the brink of tears hoping this bittersweet happiness could be real.

Ben Solo: Rey...

Their words hung in the air around them like shining stars that had fallen into orbit, pulled there by the gravity surrounding them. She could feel his breath on her face, hear the sound his mouth made as he parted his lips to speak her name, even the smell of him was intoxicatingly real. She slowly lifted her hand, feeling the aching rise with it as she wanted to feel the warmth of his cheek on her hand. She kept her eyes on his and her hand came closer...closer. Closing the inches of space between the wish and the truth. And as her hand made contact she could feel his smile as it spread across his face. Not believing the touch, the sense of her skin against his, she brought her other hand up as she flexed her fingers, enjoying the touch of his smile under her finger tips. She'd hoped...she'd dreamed...she'd believed this moment would come, but she could scarcely belive it had come now.

Rey: How? How is this possible?

Ben Solo: Anything is possible, you just have to believe in it hard enough. This is what you wanted, right? Us? Together?

Rey: I...I

She tried hard to swallow back the muffled sobs, to find the right words, but she didn't dare look away from his face. She tried not to breath too hard or move too suddenly, too afraid she would rupture the magic that held them together now.

Rey: I..I didn't know how much I wanted this...I was afraid...afraid to want anything...and then have it be not real. Unattainable. Too far out of my reach. I've known too many hopes and dreams, too many impossible things to believe anything at first glances. I'm so tired, Ben...so tired of dreaming and hoping...Yes. Yes, I want this. Nothing else, just this...here right now this moment with you with me. There's nothing I want more than this...than Us.

Ben Solo: We can have this Rey. We don't have to live on wasted wishes and vacant hopes. We can be together, just like this, for as long as you want. I could stay here, right here and never move more than an inch away. And that would be too far...We were meant for this, meant to be together, just like this, Rey.

The tears raining down her cheeks, Ben lifts his hand and gently wipes them away, on for her to lean into the warmth of his touch. She had tried to imagine what his hand would feel like on her skin. She'd tried to remember the way his face looked when she were close enough to breathe the same breaths as him. She could feel the pulse of his blood rushing through his hands. The sensation of his fingers tracing the curves of her cheek bones and tucking behind her ear, and then brushing hair from her face.

Ben Solo: Don't be afraid, Rey. I'm here...I'm right here. You're not alone...

Her eyes flicker the deeper she feels this pull on her very soul. She wanted to follow it deeper and deeper, until the only air she had was the breaths they'd share for the rest of their lives.

Rey: And neither are you, Ben. You've never been alone...I'll always be with you...no matter..

His face moves in closer to hers and she prepares herself for the brush of his lips. For the moist warmth of his breath mingling with her as she reached for him. Her chest rises and holds for a beat, and she feels...all the light...warm, bright, serene, and all encompassing touch. As if somehow they were touching each others very souls, and in the moment they'd become one. Neither needing more or taking less away from the other, they were equaled and...balanced holding each other's spirits in their hands. As he pulls away she hands onto that feeling...the feeling, of having found where she belonged...of living all her years in a stolen moment of reprieve. She was home in those arms of his...she was made whole with his soul touching hers.

Ben: Rey...

Rey: I know...

She held on as long as she could, delaying the crushing truth that waited for her is she opened her eyes. Even the sweetest lie, the truth was never so sweet as it did not carry some form of bitterness in it, otherwise it wouldn't be true. Rey was very aware that the world was not this kind. That there were dreams that could break your heart just as easy as knife could cut your skin. She could feel the sin in this stolen moment and taste the bitter pill she would have allowed herself to swallow if she believed it to be true.

Maz Kanata: Rey? Rey...Are you alright, my dear?

Rey: I'm fine...I'm..I'm fine.

Maz's hand reached out to hold hers in it. She could feel the shaking and jolts of each nerve ending becoming alive...almost like electricity were moving over her body. The hairs on Rey's body were pricked up and there was a chill that ran through her as she prepared to pull herself back up. Back into the light of a world she no longer desired to exist in. She was tired. She was tired of being surrounded and being watched over, and being told what her life was to be as it was no longer her own. She had to accept these things as a part of who she was, and it wasn't fair. She had watched Luke sacrifice himself for others...and while it had brought him peace in the end. It never brought him happiness. It never made him fulfilled as a person with feelings and hopes and desires...putting your heart aside and giving your life to the Jedi. It was a hard choice, but at least for Jedi's of the past it had been that.
A choice.

Maz Kanata: Rey, open your eyes..

Rey: No.

Maz Kanata: He's not here, Rey.

She could feel the words smash against her breaking her to bits, fracturing the image of her in the embrace of the person she loved most, but she couldn't shield herself from the vacancy after Maz stepped closer.

Rey: I know...

Rey fell forwards her hands holding her head as she falls forward onto her legs in front of her. She lays there letting her body rack itself of the pain and crying, shaking her so hard her chest began to burn. Maz walked over and took Rey's hands in her small orange skined hands.

Maz Kanata: It's a difficult path you've chosen to walk, Rey. Loving, for a Jedi is perilous and rapturous...all consuming and temperate, peaceful. It is the greatest you may ever know, and it is the greatest pain you will experience in your lifetime. It can split a soul completely in two, but the Force brought you two together. I don't believe it would do so without a purpose. The reason why, is something you have to find for yourself. You have to trust yourself, Rey...Do you love him?

Rey: Yes...Yes I do.

Maz Kanata: Then fight for him....and don't quit when it becomes difficult or frightening. That's what a rebellion is Rey...people fighting for something they love...You don't need anything more than what you already have, Rey. You'll know what to do when the time comes, but if you want Ben here..beside you. You have to know the Darkside will not give him back to you. So...You will have to fight for him...an act of rebellion in many languages is the same as an act of love. Don't be afraid...You have the more strength and more heart than anyone I've met. I don't say it often...but instead of listening to the Force and looking to it to guide you. Listen to your own counsel. Listen to your heart, Rey...it will lead you to him...I know it.

Rey: You know it?

Maz Kanata: Well, I hope...and sometimes that's all is needed to win a war.