Marshall lee x reader! one shots~

Its okay baby...

A/N: ⚠️ trigger warning ⚠️ for anxiety/panic attacks, this will contain the description of a panic attack, if anyone feels uncomfortable with topic being described please click away from this story.

Slam.

'I can't deal with this today'

I thought as I palmed the keys to my rather shitty 2010 Mazda into my hoodie pocket. The soles of my black work shoes hit the tar black driveway underneath me as I stormed through the white door of my apartment.

Another slam echoed as I kicked the door closed upon my entrance before kicking off my shoes and walking towards my bathroom located down the hall.

I can't handle this.

Why? What did I do?

What am I going to do?

I clenched my teeth in frustration, "FUCK!" I growled out.

"How the fuck could he fire me, after all this time? I work there for seven years! SEVEN FUCKING YEARS! I break my back to help him out, take up extra shifts! Stay late!" poison pasting itself to the words that spilled from my lips.

I whip off my hoodie, throwing it at in my room as I passed, not even bothering to remove my keys from it first.

When I get to the bathroom I close the door, and turned on the shower, while waiting for it to heat up I stared in the mirror at my reflection rethinking the days events.

After working at a bar for the past seven years, even being voted employee of the month on several occasions, my boss, Evan fired me. What for? Missing work because my car broke down. Things have been rough recently in the work place, Evan has always been kind of a dick, but I usually never had any issues besides when he would pick apart my service, and make a huge deal about the little things I didn't do to his standards. After having two disagreements with him this was apparently the final straw.

'So much for loyalty to your employees'

I stood there glaring at my reflection, the horror came over me, I had just lost my job. My car is barely running, and I'm a university student who has to pay bills, and feed herself. The sudden hit of these facts became stressful, the mix of anger and stress of the day came falling upon me like a load of cinder bricks.

Thump.

I took off the rest of the clothes from today.

Thump, thump.

I stepped into the shower.

Thump, thump, thump.

My lip quivered as I felt the water hit my chest, as my heart starting pounding within it.

And then I broke.

Why did I have to loose my job?

Where am I going to find another one?

Why can't I do anything right?

What if this effects me getting a new job?

I sobbed as I stood underneath the pouring water, my salty tears mixing with the fresh warm liquid that poured from above me.

I stood there shaking, and started gasping for air as I let my frustrations out in muffled sobs. I tried repeatedly to calm myself down as I washed myself, breathing techniques, positive phrases such as "you got this", "calm down, your safe" to even "you're a bad bitch". But I couldn't stop.

I crumbled to the floor arms hugging around my knees as I held them too my chest.

Why do I have to be like this?

Why can I control these anxiety attacks?

Why can't I even do that right?

I raked my hands through my soaking hair, cursing at anything and everything that flooded my mind.

That's when I herd it.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Hey, (Y/N) are you okay in there?"

Fuck. Marshall's home, I completely forgot I gave him a spare key.

I froze, in slight fear of being found out about my small mental breakdown being discovered, I hated people seeing me vulnerable. Wait no scratch that, I despised it. No matter who it was, or how close I was with a person, it was so hard for me to openly cry, or display my flaws when it came to my mental struggles. I flicked off the shower and quickly grabbed a towel wrapping it around myself.

"Uh, yeah." I croaked out in a broken voice.

"Open the door then?" Marshall asked, testing me to see if I was lying, since he is well aware of my struggle with saying I need help, or just need someone.

I turned and stared at my blood shot eyes in the mirror.

Oh god there's no way he's not gonna notice.

I wiped away the stray tears that had fallen during the quick interactions before opening the door trying to pretend like everything was fine.

"Hey!" I smiled, trying to mask the cracks in my voice.

"baby? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Marshall asked, rushing to me.

That was all it took, the tears fell again.

I told him everything as he carried me to my room, before wrapping me up in my favourite blanket and stroking my hair.

I sobbed and shook against the flannel shirt that covered Marshall's chest, as I let all the frustrations I've been keeping pent up in my mind fall from their prison.

"Hey, hey listen." Marshall spoke, "take a few deep breaths with me okay?"

I nodded.

I took his hand in mine and breathed with him as he directed me when to inhale and exhale.

Once I stopped shaking, he took me into a warm embrace once again, kissing my cheek he said softly "it's okay baby...I'm here, you're safe, and everything will be okay."

And for some reason hearing those words from him, in his voice, while in his embrace is what it took to really make it feel like everything was.