12 Reasons Why

Jacob Whitesides

*A/N: wow okay I just want to start off by thanking you all for a 170 reads. I never expected anyone to read this let alone any over 100. So thanks! It means a lot. Well yeah I guess that's it but again just thanks you guys are the best and please vote and comment or message me, I love to get feedback. But yeah remember to stay strong and stay beautiful I love you all!-Marie*

I was in my room performing my new song to my beautiful girlfriend Kylee. When it was over I look over at her with hopefullness in my eyes and ask "Did you like it?"

"No." She responds. "I loved it!" Then I smile a huge smile as Kylee says "I'm going to go get a glass of water."

"No babe let me go get it for you." I kiss her cheek as I exit the room and head down to the kitchen. I head over to the firdge and grab two water bottles then I look at the counter and I see the mail. I look through it just to see if anything was for me, and come across a sealed envelope with my name written on it. I look at the return address and see the name Emma Wilson and I think, that doesn't ring a bell. Who is Emma and why did she send me this letter. I open the envelope and take out what looks like a letter and I start to read.

Dear Jacob,

You're probably wondering who is this random stranger who wrote me a letter and sent it to my house address? And honestly I'm not sure why I'm writting this letter. Probably just to let you know how much you mean, well meant to me.You see, I am a fan, well was. My life isn't, never was perfect and I've been fighting depression for a couple years now and I can't do it anymore. I can't keep living, I can't keep breathing, I just can't do any of it. So yes, by the time your reading this I have taken my life. And it's not something I'm proud of, but it had to be done. I couldn't keep living, and maybe you don't understand, I don't expect anyone to understand, but I just wanted to be able to tell you how much I love you and how much you've helped me even though you don't even realize it. You've helped so many others too.

I stop reading as I feel tears starting to form in my eyes as I look at two pictures that were in the envelope. One is of her. And she is gorgeous and looks kind of familiar. I pull out the other picture and it's one of me and her, we must have met at one of my shows. Then I see something escape the letter and fly to the ground. I bend down and pick it up and look at it. It's a picture of me, Emma nd Kylee? I call up to Kylee "Kylee, babe can you come here for a minuet."

"Yeah sure." She responds as she comes down the stairs. I still feel the tears sliding down my face but I don't realize I'm crying until Kylee comes over to comfort me.

"What's wrong babe, what happend?" I shake my head not wanting to talk about it, just wanting an explanation to the picture. She sits down on the bar stool next to me and trys to comfort me as I show her the picture.

"Oh my god Jacob where did you get this?" I point to the letter I'm reading and she grabs it and reads the first paragraph and instantly tears form in her eyes.

"How do you know her? When was this picture taken?" I look into Kylee's beautiful blue eyes as she takes a big, shaky deep breath and starts to explain.

"About a year ago, you came to perform in Colorado. This was back when I lived in Colorado and you had no idea I existed. But I was a huge fan of you, and I bought a general admission to your show. You performed and it was amazing as always and then I went back towards your bus and waited because even though I didn't have VIP I still wanted to meet you. While me and some others were waiting for you I decided to start a conversation with the girl next to me because she was by herself and seemed kind of out of it and sad. So I said something like hey how are you and she was like good and we started talking about you and your performance and how long we've been fans of you and we became kind of sort of friends and we followed each other on twitter and then you came out, and we decided to get a group picture with you because well why not, and then we went home and we kinda talked here and there and we hung out with eachother one time after that and then you followed me and you and I started Dming a lot and then my dads buisness transferred and we had to move to Tennessee and then you and I started dating and me and her kind of lost touch."

And I'm speachless. Because I kind of remember that night. And I can't bring myself to finnish reading the letter but I need to. I need to read her last words to me. Everything that she's ever wanted to tell me is written in this letter and I'm almost to scared to continue but I know I have too. So I continue with Kylee by my side reading over my shoulder.

And Jacob, I don't want you to dwell on the fact that you couldn't save me, in the slim chance that you actually care, but Just know that you can still save others. There are people who are like how I was, broken and depressed, but listening to your music, seeing you perform, watching you smile that makes them happy, and helps them live another day. You couldn't have saved me even if you wanted too. My mind was pretty messed up. But I just want to say thanks, thanks for being able to make me smile even on my last days, it means a lot.

Now you're probably a little bit curious about the photo with you, your girlfriend and me and I'm sure if you ask Kylee about it, she'll tell you so I'm not going to repeat it. But just tell Kylee, tell her thanks. Because the day me and Kylee met, I was actually planing on killing myself then. But I wanted to see Jacob perform before I did, that was my one goal I wanted to accomplish. And if I could meet him too, that would be great. And I did. I ended up meeting you. And I met Kylee. Now Kylee actually talked to me. I went to your concert alone, because I had no friends to go with but Kylee, she welcomed me and talked to me. And I realized that someone actually cared about me. And after that night, I decided to wait, to see if things got better, because Kylee, she was so happy and so positive that it rubbed off on me. So I tried to have a new perspective on life, but it didn't work as you can see. Things just got worse after that night. But I held on as long as I could and I just can't do it anymore. So Jacob I just want to say thank you, Thank you for being able to make me smile. And Kylee, thanks for talking to me that one night and thanks for showing me that it's okay to be positive. I just want to say thanks, it means a lot.

Love, Emma WIlson.

Wow, is all I can say. I still feel the tears trickling down my face as I look at Kylee. And she has tears down her face. All that's going through my head right now is why, how can someone feel so sad, so depressed to end there life. I don't get it. And maybe I never will. I guess I mean there's nothing I can do, she's gone and it's unbelieveably sad. And I wish I could've donw something to stop her, but you can't rewind the past. I just look at Kylee and smile and she gives me a comforting smile back and I hand her, her water and take a deep breath say "Here's your water."

*A/N: I just want to say wow it's been a while and I'm sorry, I'm not going to give any lame excuses but I'm sorry. I'm going to try to update weekly and yeah. I'm sorry. Oh and btw Jacob doesn't have a girlfriend obviously it's just for the story and yeah I love you guys and remember to stay beautiful and stay strong because you're worth it I promise and I love you all lots okay byeee-Marie*