12 Reasons Why

Prologue

Today I was going to do it. It wasn't something I was necessarily proud of because it makes me seem like a coward. It makes me seem like I let my demons win, I let depression consume my entire body, which I did. And I feel so ashamed but no one will stop me. No one cares enough to save me on my darkest days, no one is ever there for me. Honestly no one will care when I'm dead, no one will be sad. The only reason I'm still alive is because of 12 guys. 12 guys who made me smile everyday. 12 guys who made me happy when I was feeling as down as I have ever been. 12 viners who don't even know I ever existed.

I'm only still breathing because I wanted to make it to when I would get to meet them, I wanted to get to meet them so I could tell them in person how much they all meant to me. But I gues the closest thing to meeting them is writing them letters. Writing them letters about my life, about how I had no choice but to give up. About how much they have helped me although I failed because I can't do it anymore. I can't keep living my life pretending I'm okay when every wall inside of me is broken. I can't keep getting up everyday, putting on a fake smile and walk into school like nothing is wrong. Because sadly, sadly everything is wrong. And it breaks my heart that I won't be able to meet them, but this, this is what I have to do, the way I'm feeling right now, there's nothing I can do to escape it. I can't hide from my demons any longer. No matter how many vines I watch. My demons are still there, still lurking in every corner of my mind and I can't escape it. I hope the boys understand, if they even care. I mean I'm just another fan. Right?

A/N: Okay, so I don't really know where I'm going with this story I just decided to write it because something told me to, I've had this idea for a while but I kept trying to ignore it but it wasn't working. So yeah... here it is I guess haha I know this part was short, but it's the prologue soooo haha I was planning on doing these chapters like each one is the letter she wrote to a different guy and the guy's thought on the letter and so on. So um yeah I guess that's it and if you read this entire author's note I give you props. But yeah I love you guys and remember to stay strong and stay beautiful because you're worth it I promise! -Marie

^^^^ I said But yeah a bunch....whoops I'm sorry^^^^