Iliza is 23 and a single mother running from an abusive boyfriend. No one knows about her abusive relationship and she refuses to even bring him up again. One day her 3 year old son goes running into the street after his ball, and motorcycle almost...
We are starting to watch Howl's Moving Castle. Iliza has never seen it which blows my mind. We had already watched Princess Mononoke early which she absolutely loved. I told her Howl's Moving Castle is similar. She's already in love with Howl which I don't blame her for, everyone is in love with Howl. Next I'll make her watch Ponyo I bet she'll just fall head over heels in love with how cute the characters are. She's adorable it's hard to look away from her. The way she focuses on the movie and gets excited to see Howl is hurt adorable.
She hasn't cried the last few hours. Which is a good and a bad thing. I think we did a good job keeping her mind off of the situation, but I don't want anything in the healing process rushed. Let's be honest I'm falling in love with her more and more. I haven't even known her long but her presence is just intoxicating and comforting. Whenever she's around I feel safe and like I don't have to stress over things. She puts my mind at ease and seeing her like this is killing me. I know how long this process can take and for her to be hurting for that long will kill me.
She's an amazing woman with a big heart. Although she's not always confident you would never be able to tell. She is so hard on herself though. It's like she can find a fault in almost everything she does. I just want to hold her forever and feel this comforting feeling. It's not about the sex or getting anything out of her. It's about the love and wanting to make her feel better about herself. I want her to thrive and be in love with herself. I don't know how to describe it I just want her to have the most out of life with me.
She's looking at me. I've been starting at the this whole time and she's looking at me blushing. She makes me melt and my body feel like pudding. I want her to sit next to me but I don't know if she's ready for that. I don't want her to feel like she has to do something she doesn't want to.
"Do you want to sit next to me?" I mouth to her.
The movie isn't that loud and I don't want the boys to hear me even though they are sitting on the floor in front of me.
Unfortunately she shakes her head no. I understand and I'm okay with it. I tell her it's okay and go back to watching the movie. If she wants to sit next to me I'll let her do it without feeling pressured.
Once we finished Howls Moving Castle Iliza could not stop talking about how handsome Howl was. She was already looking up pictures of him to make her background. I put on Ponyo for her and immediately as soon as Ponyo came out she was jumping and awe-ing over Ponyo. She made me smile so wide and a genuine smile. If a movie makes her this happy I wonder what else makes her this happy. Motorcycles and cars makes me as happy as she is even if it doesn't show on my face. I should show her the Fast and Furious movies which are things I enjoy watching. I like them mainly to look at the cars but some of the scenes in there are very interesting too.
I got up from my seat to find the movies. I had Eric bring some movies over for us to watch. He knows me well so he already knew to bring them. I have all the movies even though some of them are a little too superhero-y for me. I still enjoy them and I hope she does too. I want use to have something other than trauma in common.
I sat back down with the movie collection on my side. I look over to where Iliza was sitting and she's not there anymore. Where did she go so fast I literally turned around for 5 seconds. I start looking around for her, but she's no where in site.
"Where's Iliza?"
The boys look at me then to the seat she was sitting in. They look back at me with a worried look on their face. Some people might thing we are over exaggerating but she had been through at lot.
"Iliza!" I called out to her. I'm trying not to panic but it's hard not to she was just right there. I start frantically searching through the rooms for her. I get to the door closest to the garage and I can hear the garage door closing. What the hell is she doing out there. The front door would be the quickest way for me to get outside to see what's going on. When I get outside she's speeding off in her truck.
"Iliza! What the hell!"
——————————————————————————— Cliffhanger !! Not really cause I don't know how to write cliffhangers. Actually I don't really know how to write a book either.
Anyway short chapter as always. I'm healing from surgery and I've been stuck in the house bored. I'll write another chapter probably tomorrow or Sunday. I'll try not to make it boring and I'll try to have more dialogue in it. I added a picture of Howl so y'all can fall in love with him too.
Okay I have to go. I love you guys and how you are doing well. You look amazing and if y'all ever need anyone to talk to Im here.
Peace out ✌🏽
Some more pictures of Howl 🥺 Cred to the artist
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