On Again, Off Again (A Hamliza Fanfiction)

6: Going Home

A/N: I made a bunch of references so comment :) when you find them!

Alex POV:

After my kiss with Angelica, we haven't really talked about it... or even made eye contact...

I think I've been distancing myself from Eliza by accident. It's starting to get to her. Of course, I never meant to distance myself from her. I guess it just sort of happens when you cheat on her... with her sister... in her parents cabin... in the middle of the woods. Gosh, I hope they don't find out or I'll be 6 feet u der before I get to ten. Mr. Schuyler does have a shot gun... but that's not what I'm mostly worried about... I think.

I'm mostly worried that I will break Eliza's heart more than I did before. She means everything to me and if she found out about... this... she would break. Mentally and emotionally.

She would just be a bunch of broken pieces because I'm the one who makes her whole... so she says.

I ruined everything again. One side of my head screamed.

She deserves to know. The other side said.

I have to trust that Angelica won't tell anyone. Especially Mr. Schuyler. And Eliza of course.

What have I done.

I never meant to make this such a mess.

I really screwed up.

My thoughts were interrupted by Eliza's sweet voice echoing through the cabin.

"Alex are you all packed?" She called from the living room.

"Yeah I'll be right there!" I called back from her room. I picked up my suitcase and brought it to the living room with the rest of our stuff.

She smiled at me. I love her smile. It's sort of subtle and perfect and real.

She wouldn't smile like that if she knew what I've done.

I shook away the thoughts and guilt and smiled back.

"Ready?" She asked. I nodded and brought our stuff to my car. She hugged her parents goodbye as I waited in the car.

She soon got in the passenger seat and we began driving back to New York.

Now all I have to do is get through a 5 hour car ride with Eliza. I thought. That might be difficult.

Just 5 hours without breaking her heart or ruining our lives... no problem...

She connected her phone to my car and played a random soundtrack.

Words Fail from Dear Evan Hansen started playing.

Of course.

Why does this song always come on at the worst times!?

The song only made me feel worse.

Then Eliza started singing.

Her voice was always amazing. Especially singing. When she sings, her voice is absolutely beautiful just like her.

But singing these words just broke me inside.

They hurt.

Really badly.

I should tell her.

I need to tell her.

I can't keep it in anymore.

"Eliza... I have to tell you something..." I said cautiously, scratching the back of my neck.

She looked at me worried. "What is it?"

I sighed.

"When we were at the cabin... after the first dinner when everyone went back to their rooms... Angelica kissed me..." I said slowly, trying not to make eye contact.

We sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes until she spoke up.

"Did you what it...?" She asked quietly, almost a whisper.

I shook my head "of course not! I love you and only you!" I exclaimed.

I can't lose her.

She nodded and looked out the window.

"I pushed her off quickly." I lied. She nodded again and took one of her hands in mine. I smiled to myself. She was always very forgiving and I love her for that.

It was silent in the car again but this time it was comfortable. It was like this for about 20 minutes until she spoke up again.

"So my sister cheated on her boyfriend... by kissing you... which is basically you cheating on me too...?" She asked quietly, sounding very innocent.

I nodded a bit "I guess so... I'm so sorry that happened and I never meant for it to happen... but you needed to know that it did happen." I said quickly. She nodded along. She does that a lot when she's sad.

"Thank you for telling me... I forgive you only because I believe that it was her fault and not yours." She said with a small smile.

I smile too as she rubbed my hand and arm.

"Thank you for forgiving me." I said and leaned in for a quick kiss. She leaned in too but pulled back before our lips met.

"Eyes on the road Alex. I would like to make it back alive." She said with a giggle and I obeyed.

No more secrets. I thought and smiled.

The rest of the ride was enjoyable. We sang all kinds of show tunes for the last 4 hours of the trip.

I'm so glad I have an Eliza in my life.

She's my Eliza. And I won't ever break her heart again... I hope.