Save Me.

Goodbyes

“I am going”

Three words which made my heart skip a beat and halted my steps at an abrupt stop. I look back at him with confusion and wait for his explanation.  He smiles at me affectionately and continue.

“I have been applying for multiple foreign universities since past couple of months along with Zaroon and Asad for the one year exchange program where we will be completing our last year of the degree.”

I feel my chest constricting thinking that now I won’t be able to even see him in the corridors while we cross each other during the 15 min break after each class.

“Has any university accepted you guys yet?”

“yeah, actually 5 of them for me but the only similar university where the all three of us has only gotten into tis he university of London so we are choosing that” he shrugs at me while putting his hands inside his pockets.

“That’s good” I tell him in a small voice while looking down.

“I know what you were going to tell me Zareen. When I confessed my feelings to you I never thought that it will put you in so much trouble. I never asked anything in return, not even an acknowledgement. May be I was wrong. I should have thought about how you will feel. But can you blame me? We don’t have any control on who we love. It just happens. My love for you is still there and I am sure Inaya would be more than happy if we will come out to everyone as a couple but I won’t force you neither would I say that wait for me. I just want you to be happy and that’s all. If you are happy without me who am I stopping you from pursuing it.”

He gives me a weak smile, sincerity dripping from his every word. I don’t know how to react or what to say. I feel my eyes burning again and I look up into the sky thinking why we met each other at the wrong place and the wrong time. I look around to see if anyone is looking but do I even care anymore? I move forward and hug the guy who I know is the love of my life, surprising him and myself but I don’t stop hugging him. I cry knowing this is the last time I might be meeting him and we both need this closure. I feel him encircling his arms around me and I cry even more. We stay like that for a very long time him rubbing my head soothingly and me wetting his t-shirt with my tears. After we separate my hiccups don’t stop and he makes me sit on the grass. He gives me his handkerchief a small box I didn’t saw before and a couple of letters I don’t have the energy to open. He pats my head like he did in the hospital and leaves sitting there for the last time till I don’t know when I will meet him again.

I stay there crying while looking at the things in my lap until I feel Inaya hugging me from behind reminding me that now her scent will remind me of his brother, her full name will remind me of his brother and most importantly her face which resembles Salar the most will remind me of him.

“He will come back to you Zareen. He will earn your trust, your love and will come back to you.”

I cry at her statements and at the silent acknowledgement that she accepts us. I look up in the sky, my head falling back at her shoulder sending a prayer that whatever is written best for all of us we receive it soon.

I didn’t saw Salar in university, during the final exams, when I visited Inaya at her house or at the farewell party we arranged for the guys. I guess he was avoiding the heartbreak just like I was. I still haven’t opened his letters yet. It’s August 17th today, the guys are going to be boarding the plan in 30 minutes. I feel a sinking feeling in my gut when I hear my phone ringing. I pick it up while sitting on my bed after answering the call.

“Asad?”

“Talk to him Zareen he is on speaker”
I feel my self-crying and that’s what I do.  I cry loudly knowing that all the guys especially Salar is listening to my sobs.

“Zareen…”

I hear his voice and stop him right there and give him my answer.

“I’ll wait for you even if it means that I have to wait for you to come back after 10 years but I’ll wait for you.”

There is a pause on the other side and I get anxious why isn’t he replying?

“I’ll come back to you. I promise.”

At this moment I knew everything will turn out just right. I will wait for you Salar even if it means I have to wait for my entire life.

Two chapters in one day!!!
Tehreem are you feeling ok?
I am fine guys its just I was feeling really guilty for making you all wait for the updates.