All eyes on her

love the haters

Ed Sheeran - Photograph

We keep this love in a photograph
We make these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time's forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans
Holdin' me closer
Till our eyes meet
You won't ever be alone
Wait for me to come home

~~~~~~~~~~~

"But please" Daniel pouted "it's our holiday and I want to share how beautiful it is." I sighted. "Ok but only 2 pics and a good caption" I answered him. We're back from our holidays without our little princess on the Maldives. It's was so beautiful there. No need to worry about training and paparazzis, no need to think of our diets. I want to stay here forever. Daniel and I agreed on no phones during the first week. So on the 8th day we went on photo shootings with ourselves. Now, it's the first day back and we decided to post some pictures. 

danielricciardo Lucky to spend some days with this beauty in paradise.

user1: wait, is there a ring?
          user2: oh yes. it defo is! a big fat ring
maxverstappen1: that's why you didn't answer our calls. 
           rubysmith: sorry Maxie, still my boyfriend, not yours.
           georgerussell63: i knew it. Maxie and Dan
           rubysmith: was it a secret at all?

rubysmith sorry, was busy looking at this handsome guy the last days

danielricciardo: I thought I had a stalker. thanks for confirmation
           rubysmith: as you wish

I couldn't wait until we're back again at training. I got myself a new trainer this year. Better said Mercedes gave ma a new one. I talked to him and he send me his plans so I could stay here in Australia and train together with Dan and his trainer Michael. We were joined by Dans friend Marcus Stoinis. He and the cricket player went to school together. And when they are both at the same spot on earth they tend to train together. And boy oh boy they are a pain in the ass. But I like them battles and also Lance Stolls brother in law Scotty James. 

Fast forward 2 weeks

During the gym session with Daniel and Marcus I pushed over my limits. I was completely done. I was sore. I needed to throw up. I felt a bit sick in the morning but it went away quickly. Daniel rushed over to me as I threw up into a bin "You ok Rubs?" I looked at him and nodded. Marcus came over and handed me a bottle of water and a granola bar. I ate it quickly. Afterwards I felt better and continued to work out. What no one knew was that I tried to diet a lot to loose weight. I wanted to get lighter to have more advantage in the car. so I tried to starve myself and that's why I was sick. I had it many times before. My trainer knew of it so I tried it now in Australia where she wasn't with me. 

"Ruby, you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost" Michael, Daniels coach asked me. "All fine, just zoned out. can we go on another time neck pulls?" I asked him and he started to go over to the wall mounted seat. I hate neck pulling but to stand the G-forces I need to train them even more. 
I worked out like hell. I did more turns than I had to. At this evening I went straight to bed. I was so exhausted.

rubysmith just to check in, I'm still alive, not engaged, still at Mercedes and yes racing again and still with Dan and Poppy. Nothing else you wanna know? P.S.: never felt that cute 😘

georgerussell63: cutest teammate I ever had
          alex_albon: I janna have her too
          maxverstappen1: no you won't she's a pain in the ass.
          danielricciardo: that's a YES from me

I wanted to post something funny and it blew up. It's still a bit strange for me to have that attention from everybody. But this is what comes with being a F1 driver. Dan came to bed and cuddled up. "You wanna have another baby soon?" he asked me quite serious. I looked at him. More like stared him dead in the eye "Dan, you know I love you, but I need to win races and fight for the championship. I'm in the best car on the grid, I can't take another maternity leave. I just want to enc-" "No Rubs, I'm dead serious. You look like a ghost and you need to throw up on a regular basis" he answered. "Dan, that's not what it is. I already took a test. That's not the case. I have breast cancer. Stage 1. So no chemo needed. I throw up from the meds. I take cancer meds and also antidepressants. And I work harder than before. I wanna be on that top step. i need to be there. But that you know already". He pulled me in a tight hug. I saw him crying. But I tried to stay strong. 2i'm having an appointment in three days. Maybe I'll have a mastectomy. To be honest - no one will notice a thing. Toto and George know about it. But that's all. So I don't know but I think I'll go to the press about it." He hugged me even tighter. I dried his tears and then we fell asleep.

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A/N sorry guys for a quite short chapter. I had some private things going on and so i didn't have time. The following chapter(s) will be about a huge part in my life and I want it to sound real. So it's a part of my story and I will leave a TW already here - so if you have a hard time battling cancer or depressions or any other mental health issues - YOU ARE NOT ALONE! if you want to, reach out to me, to a friend or to a help line. Sorry it's a German site, but here you find every numbers in the world where they can help you. https://www.telefonseelsorge.de/international-helplines/