This Is What A Broken Heart Feels Like

Chapter Seven: Hold on

Toni's POV:

My world stopped, my heart broke and I couldn't breath again. I felt like everything was finally making sense, the bad feeling, the dream, EVERYTHING. I fucking hate it. Everything was moving too fast for me to be able to process. I don't remember getting in the car or the drive there or that Betty and Ronnie were both holding my hands so tight that they went numb. I went numb.

The moment the car was in park, I jumped over Betty and ran as fast as I could towards the front desk. I was so focused on finding Cheryl and seeing her that I didn't notice Archie and Jug standing beside me. Right before I could scream for the nurse to tell me where my girlfriend is, Jug grabbed my arm. The first thing I noticed was the blood on both of them. They were covered head to toe in it. My heart stop and the room was slowly fading.

I could feel someone come behind me and pull me into them. It was FP. I let it all out, I was sobbing and fighting against his grip on me. I was angry and I was hurting. I needed it to all stop. We all piled into the small waiting room outside of the ICU operating rooms.

FP eventually let me go when he felt that I wasn't going to lose it in the middle of the hospital. It felt like a century went by before we heard anything. I still have no idea what happened to her or what happened when they found her but I do know whatever he did to her, I was going to do to him but ten times worse. I promised to protect her and I failed. I fucking failed the love of my life.

After the repeating thought of Cheryl and how I let her down, I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I couldn't stop myself. My stomach turned and it all came out. It was mostly water and beer, considering we never got to eat. Once I was done, I left the stall and washed my face and swigged water around in my mouth to get the taste and smell to go away. I hadn't noticed that someone was standing next to the door. I looked over and saw Ronnie standing there. She looked like every nerve that she has is fired and she's beyond tired. I feel that.

I finished up and threw the paper towels away. I looked at her and she held her arms open for a hug. At this point, I thought fuck it. It can't make me feel any worse so I walked into her arms and laid my head on her shoulder. She started crying softly and I rubbed her back. I knew this was hard for her. This was hard for everyone. They all knew Cheryl, they loved her. She was an amazing friend and a beautiful soul.

We both collected ourselves and went back to the waiting room. 15 minutes passed and the doctor finally walked in. I could tell by the look on his face that this wasn't going to be something I wanted to hear but I needed to know. Not knowing was so much worse for me.

"Family of Cheryl Blossom?" He asked, looking around the room. We all stood up and waited for him to tell us if she's ok. "We did everything we could. She was stabbed twice in the abdomen and once in the shoulder. Whoever did this wasn't planning on making sure she made it. There is a fourth stab wound in her thigh, it cut her artery. We were able to repair it but she lost a lot of blood. She's alive but she's in a coma."

Everyone in the room held their breath, not another word was spoken until I asked, "When can we see her? I need to see her." He sighed, "We need to get her stabilized in her room for tonight but tomorrow we'll call and let you know. Who is her primary contact?" "I am. Toni, her fiance. Call me first." I said and he nodded, writing down my number and name before heading off to wherever.

I walked out after he left. I needed a cigarette. As soon as the morning air hit my skin, I felt a little relief knowing that she's still alive. There's still a chance of her pulling through and making a full recovery.

I was in my own little world when I felt this rush of anger. I didn't understand it at first but then I started thinking 'I need to find him today. This is the last straw.' I finished the little bit of a cigarette that I had and went to find FP.