Criminal Love

^17°

5 Years Later

After I had left I had realized I was pregnant. I Never regretted having his child though. I missed him more though, his son looked alot like him. Was handle to manage just like him.

Jeongsan

"Jeongsan!" I said running to him trying to catch him.

"No! I want meet daddy! You swaid me, daddy meet!"

He screamed as I sighed

"Meeting you father is not possible right now Jeongsan"

"Mommy pwesee!"

"It's not possible, if it were I would okay?" I said as he stopped sobbing and hugged my legs.

He was just four. He was my everything now. It hurts me to think that Jungkook would have moved on with some else but I tried to be happy for him. I was the one who left him after all, he gave me a son. He gave me my jewel. He gave me a part of himself through his son.

What possibly more could I ask?

But nevertheless my hope always had ray, I always hoped he would find me and return. I imagined so many times that he would embrace me, his warmth would overtake mine, he would kiss me endlessly, he would carry Jeongsan. We would go on trips. We would look into each others eyes as his contained the same danger but love. Jeongsan would get a dad, someone to look up to.

But I knew, I knew deep down it wasn't possible.

I couldn't imagine him being 28 after all these years, would he look more calm? Would he have looked more handsome? Would he have looked same as my Jungkook?

But did I really have the right to call him mine anymore?

I felt so guilty sometimes, Jeongsan wouldn't get a dad, when his dad one of the best out there.

How would Jimin be doing? How was Hoseok? Jin?

Miyeon..

I saw her on the TV all the time, her band had become quite big, she performed alot. I at least got to see her on the TV and listen to her voice. Jeongsan loved her as well.

I had resided far away from the city in a small village, I owned a coffee shop which had taken alot of time to earn money and to run for.

I heard the door bell as I opened it.

My heart always had a pang when I opened the door and it wasn't Jungkook, I always hoped he would be the one to open it. Even though I knew, I just..I just knew. But I couldn't accept it.

"Oh hi Minnie? What's up?" I asked as she started digging through her bag.

"Uh....where-uh...wait a second...um..AHA!"

She said finally finding a letter.

"Here, a letter for you, okay now that you've got that. Gotta skiddadle!" She said jumping on her bicycle and pedaling off.

I chuckled as I closed the door, I opened the letter. The moment I read the first line, tears came their way out.

Hey Y/N it's me Miyeon, your lifelong best friend! I found your address, I haven't told kooks yet. I hope you and little kooks are doing well, I wanted to tell you that I'm having a concert near your town and it's totally okay if you don't want to personally meet me, but if, IF you can come... please do? Okay? Okay now I have to go for practice. Byee. Love to you and lil kooks.

I cried and cried as I appreciated her sending a letter to me, a part of me relived that she knew where I lived for some reason. Forming hopes that they would come and see me?

I held the page to my chest while crying my heart out to the open. I heard Jeongsan come in as I looked at him, he rubbed his eyes cutely while coming to me.

"Mommy? Why are you crying? Don't cry mommy"

"You're making Jeongsan swad alsho" he said in his sleepy voice as looking at him made me cry more. He reminded me so much of him.

"Did I do something Wong mommy?" He asked as he started to sob.

"No No my baby, you made my life better. Mommy loves you," I said kissing his tiny nose that looked exactly like Jungkook's.

He cheered up, and told me back.

"Yay! Jeongsan also loves mommy and daddy!"

I smiled, he always said daddy even if he had never seen his dad. I felt like I had betrayed Jungkook many times, he maybe did not even know his child existed? Even if Miyeon knew, I did not know if she had told him..

"Let's sleep okay?"

"Okay mommy, Jeongsang also wants to go sleepy."

I smiled as I pecked him and laid with bed with him occasionally carresing his back so he would sleep.

The thing that I loved most were his eyes, they were exactly like Jungkook's, his eyes made me miss Jungkook even more, which made me dread looking at them sometimes.

Where are you Jungkook?
How are you?
Do you have a pretty girlfriend?
Are you happy?
Did Miyeon get together with Hoseok?
Did jimin find someone?
Did you smile today?
Did you all meet up together today?
Your son misses you. I miss you.

"Don't Come back to me" I whispered softly.

Come back to me.

"Move on"

I'm still waiting.

"Have a nice family and be happy"

With me.

My thoughts clouding me as I sobbed to sleep while looking at Jeongsan and smiling a sad smile.

"You're the only one I have"

We're the last words I said before leaving off to darkness.

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IM DEFINETLY NOT CRYING-