Criminal Love

^19°

I told Jeongsan to sit on one of the benches near by and told his teacher to take care of him for 10 minutes, I dashed around the school looking for Jungkook running around everywhere.

"Jungkook! Where are you!"

I screamed out as a few people stared at me, but I did not care. All I wanted to do is hug him to touch him to look into his eyes again, those same eyes who once had dominance over me.

"Please..come back" I said falling down whispering.

"Ms.Y/N!" The teacher came running to me.

"Are you okay Ma'am? You have dust all over you" She said taking out a tissue and dusting off the sand and dust on my pants while Jeongsan looked at me worried.

"Are you okay mommy?"

"Yeah honey, Im fine" I told him while I thanked the teacher for everything and gave her a coupon to my café as a thanks.

"What's your teachers name? She's really pretty" I decided to divert his attention.

"She's Ms.Remi!"

Remi? That name seemed so familiar.

"Well Ms.Remi is really pretty" i said bopping his tiny nose.

We reached home as I took his bag and washed his lunch box while telling him to go change his clothes.

"Do you want me to change you?" I said while still washing his water bottle.

"No mommy I'm a big boy! I can change on own!"

I chuckled looking at him and nodding, I let my self fall on the sofa thinking about today, Was it really Jungkook? Was he...here?

Whatever

I went upstairs to already see Jeongsan asleep on the bed as I went and slept beside him, carresing his hair soft as a cloud. I fell into the same dark void once again.

I awoke to music playing outside, I got up slowly to make sure Jeongsan did not wake up and checked the balcony, there laid a music box on the ground as I picked up.

It was playing the song that Miyeon always sang, now that I listened to it, it was her voice. How..?

I looked around, how did a music box end up in my balcony, playing the same song I loved.

"Miyeon?" I said rushing down stairs and opened the door running out looking everywhere, The music box stopped playing music making me look at it but quickly diverting my attention to looking around again.

"Miyeon!"

But..

"Jungkook..?"

He...came? I was so immersed in her voice It never crossed my mind that Jungkook would be here after today's incident.

"Jungkook! Come back! Jungkook!" I screamed, I did not care if he had moved on, if I could just see him once...just once.

Soon I heard music play again, I looked at the music box but it was still where I had kept it.

"Jungkook please just come out!" I screamed as I fell down crying.

Was he even here? But soon I felt someone wrap their hands behind me.

This scent, his smell, after five years.

"J-jungkook?" I said crying even more, to think after five years I finally had met him.

He would not reply but burried his face at the crook of my neck. I tried to turn around but his hands firm would not let me.

Miyeon's voice still being played in the background, the wind to our favor giving us light flinches as I still was crouched on the ground.

I wanted to look into his eyes, I wanted to show him our son, I wanted to cry and tell him everything about his son, tell him to stay with us, say sorry for leaving him, tell him that I always loved him.

Did he still love me? He did come to meet..but it could just be because he wanted to see the girl who betrayed him, he was left by his parents and now when he had finally found someone she left him as well.

"You ran away from me" were the first words he uttered softly as I closed my eyes hearing his voice again, releasing new tears for the guilt that rised again.

"I-Im sorry"

I said, I wanted to tell him I loved him still, still had waited for him, his son loved him, but..what if he had moved on? I knew, I knew I was the reason he got shot that day.

The reason Miyeon and everyone were in danger because of me, the reason he was betrayed again , the reason of what could have been his death, the reason he did not know he had a child, The reason for all the bad things.

The most I could come up with was leaving him, I left him because I loved him. I don't even know if it was love, Would a person who loved another person leave them?

But...I feel like I still love him, I still look forward to being with him, is that obsession? Is it something wrong?

After all I did, is it still right for me to expect that he would still stay with me forgetting all the pain I gave him?

No

I...it's wrong, Why...did this have to happen?

If I had not fallen for him would he be having a better life?

But I never regret loving him, he blessed me a son, he gave me a reason to live, but what if...another betrayal destroyed him from inside? Slowly taking his reason to live again, him experiencing that he was going to be betrayed again and again?

"You left me alone huh?" He scoffed while his hold was even more tight.

"Why?" He asked as I could feel the pain in his voice.

I wanted to tell him but would it make me selfish? Leaving him then trying to prove my point and convince him that it was all for a reason.

He traveled his hands down my stomach

"So this is where he grew, Our son" he said softly while his hot breath fanned against my neck.

I remained silent, trying to process everything.

I was in his embrace

In his embrace.