Lily Rose Styles

chapter 46- Taunt

Lily's P.O.V.

2 weeks.

It's been a whole 14 days since I had my "conversation" with Harry. Nonetheless, he was still calling me day to day, I wouldn't answer though. I told him we are done, and this time I meant it.

Of course Gemma was practically shoving the phone into my ear, but no matter how hard they tried, I wouldn't talk to him or any of the boys either for the matter.

Like I said I do not want to talk to them ever again, and I'm keeping my word for it.

Right now it's Friday evening, I just got home from a long dreaded day at school and I honestly look like I've been dragged through a bush, thrown into lake, dragged through mud, and out of the bush again.

Yes it's that bad.

My makeup is smudged everywhere, black lines flow down my cheeks, and my lip is split up open, where a little spot of blood is oozing out.

I sighted once I washed my face with like warm water. For the past few weeks I've been a mess. I've done nothing but sat in my room and cry. But I can't help it, my dads been hitting me worse than he has before, and at school Adam is making sure to make my life hell. Now all my teachers know I have after school lessons with him and they check if I got there or not. Its making it a lot harder to escape, so for the past few weeks, I've been abused constantly, I've cut constantly and I hardly ate. I went to my therapist for my eating disorder and they said if I keep carrying on I'm going to be hospitalized or be tube fed at home. None of those sound good to me.

I slowly limped back towards my bed, feeling all my bones ache as I took each step making an apparent frown set on my face.

What did I do to deserve this pain?

I sighted in relief as I carefully got onto my bed, feeling the warmth and coziness wrap around me making me snuggle into my pillows, careful to not make any violent moves.

I layed in my bed, surrounded by the four walls once again. I sighted to myself, since when has life become, well ... this. This nightmare I have to live and go through all alone. Since when am I just walking round with scars engraved onto my skin. Since when have I fallen down so much that I haven't realized until I hit rock bottom?

Since when this became my life?

And you know whats worse? The fact my parents are already planning the wedding, and I want to brake down crying all the time I hear about it. My mum looks genially so happy, so happy to be back with the man she once loved and still does. And it brakes my heart, hes just doing this to get to me, not to be with her, and too see that smile of her face thinking her loved one loves her back, just makes me hate myself even more. Shes fallen under his trance and world of lies, and even if I did try to tell her she wouldn't acknowledge me. I'll be seen as a ghost, unseen, much like my family been treating me for some days, like I'm invisible and it hurts, but I guess pain is meant to be felt right?

I felt my phone buzz from underneath me, but I dint bother to check, I knew it was hate from twitter, I guess people find out quicker than I think news spreads round. Cut the story short, some pap snapped a pic of me storming of from Harry, My face is bright red from anger and its all over the internet,not helping me at all. And now everyone says I'm ungrateful and all that. They know nothing but they still judge.

Another reason to why I should hate myself more.

I let out a breath I haven't noticed I was holding, my train of thoughts zoned me out from reality, and I immediately groaned into my pillow...

Why do I even bother breathing?

And What really is daunting on me right now is the fact I'm not getting any better, nothing is getting better, everything is just getting worse.