Lily Rose Styles

Chapter 41- Here I Am Once Again

Lily's P.O.V.

I can't believe he even has a nerve to call himself a brother.

More importantly a brother to me. He never had been a real brother I wish I had.  He has only talked to me like 3 times on his whole tour. A brother that cared would be texting me every second. And now, hes the one saying he can help me. But to come face to face with reality, he can't. I'm unfixable. I'm just to broken. Putting me together would take years, and I do not have the time to do that, or the effort it takes, and I doubt he does either. He's hardly ever home so I don't know what he's chattin about.

I'm just a broken girl. An unfixable broken girl.

I sighted whilst I forced myself of my bed, walking around my room whilst my mind raced with thoughts.

I don't and won't ever understand what I did wrong. And I probably never will be free. I probably never will be happy again. I probably will never be fixed. The list could go on and on, but the worst part of this is there is no one to hold me in their arms.

I wished they understood.

But over the years, I learned you wish for a lot of things, none of which come true.

I just sat myself in my corner, got my long letter out which explains everything to my family, and I hope someone will find this when I'm dead. I proceeded writing the events of today on a little piece of paper.

Few hours later

"Lily it's 10. You should go to bed now" Louis said as he opened my door. I quickly groaned hiding the letter underneath my wardrobe, silently hoping he didn't see any of it.

"Come on Lily. Get to bed" He said his voice calm. But I could still sense he was getting impatient with me. I got myself into my bed once I realized he wasen't going anywhere until I did.

"Sleep well Lily, you need some rest" He said smiling at me while closing the door shut.

"I'll sleep when he's dead" I murmured to myself, closing my eyes.

***

I bolted straight up at the feeling of tightness in my throat. My breathing was being restricted and I was gasping for air.

"You little bitch" A voice beside me snarled, I widened my eyes in fear. He was in my room. I quickly glimpsed around the room, it was still night time, which made me more paranoid inside.

"You wanne back chat me again?" He questioned, getting closer to my face, his hot breath lingering on my cheeks, while his hands cupped my neck. He loosened his grip, so I was able to somewhat breath again, however he was still squishing my windpipe, making this sharp burning feeling erupt in my throat.

I quickly shook my head, too terrified to speak.

"Well you will always fucking agree to what I say" He growled sending shivers down my spine. I was doing everything in my might to hold the wall of tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I can't cry, from experience, I know that to him seeing me cry only makes him feel more powerful.

Power = more abuse.

"You understand me?" He said whilst bringing his hand back, I knew what was about to happen so I struggled underneath his grip, trying to get away.

He immediately reacted, throwing several punches straight into my stomach, knocking the air out of me. I whimpered from the pain rising inside of me, I slowly opened my eyes, seeing him looking determined as he kept throwing punches at me and I just layed motionless on my bed, to weak to fight back.