Lily Rose Styles

Chapter 45- Same mistakes.

Lily's P.O.V.

"Wake up you piece of shit" A voice growled whist I felt my covers being ripped off of me followed by a cold wind attacking my once warm and cozy body.

I shot right up rubbing my eyes too see the back of my Dad slamming my door shut. As on cue, A frown set on my face.

What a beautiful way to wake up.

I quickly jumped off my bed, pushing the negative thoughts to the side as I quickly placed my covers back onto my bed were they originally were before someone decided to rip them off me.

A sudden sadness dawned on me as I came to realize how much I'll miss having one of the boys waking me up politely in the morning.

I took a deep breath as I quickly splashed cold water onto my face, they left me, they are not here anymore. I need to stop thinking about them, because clearly, they're not thinking about me. If they couldn't be bothered to wait a few more minutes to say a proper goodbye to me, then I obviously mean nothing to them. And it's sad as I felt like they have cared.

And I never learn from that mistake.

I quickly brushed my teeth, put my hair into a braid, threw my school uniform and collapsed onto my bed.

I din't feel right without the boys, It felt lonely and there is no one bugging me. Ans I really need to stop thinking about them, it isn't helping me at all.

And I've done it again, I've grown to attached to them, I've talked to them, hung out, and I promised myself I wouldn't, because I knew they would leave, I just din't want to believe it.

And here I am again, tied up in the same old mess, making the same mistakes once again.

I mean, Were just going in circles, dizzy all it makes us and I know where is take us, I've been before. And Harry is only trying to get us to be closer, hes trying to find out what us wrong with me. But he won't find out what is, I'll make sure to keep away from him, I promise myself this, this time everything will be different.

It just I'm always the person that gets replaced. I'm just here for awhile and then I get thrown away.

I'm like a rapping paper, I'm good for the first few seconds, I'm good to make something look good, to hide whats inside of me. But as soon as they realize there is something better than me they rip me open into shreds, throw me away, and go get the better thing.

Because I'm just here to be the outer layer. The thing everyone uses, the thing everyone throws away eventually.

I'm like the paper delicate and thin, and once you rip me open, it's impossible to stick me back together.

I let out a long huff of breath, trying to ignore my aching heart. The way it beats every time, allowing blood to flow all over my body. The way it's beating, slow but in a consistent rhythm.

I just want it to stop all together. I don't care if I'm only 14, life is not worth living. Life is hell. Everyone here on Earth is Fed with lies, everyone is like, life is beautiful, its a gift, in reality it's not. I wish when I was growing up someone would of told me, told me the truth about life, told me that it's horrible and there is no point living it. Told me it's much better to be dead than alive.

Death will only make me happy. That's all I want that's all I need and I'm gonna succeed.

To think about it, the word death. Many peoples fear. Dying. But why? Why would you be scared of death? Because your scared you wont exist? You will. Your soul goes to live on, you live and you feel more alive than ever, you see everyone you knew whom have passed away, you reunite with them after so many long years, I can imagine every single one of you's leaping into that persons arms, holding onto him for dear life. Tears will flood your eyes as you observe your be-loved persons face and you come to realize it's exactly how you remember him. The pleasant feeling overwhelms your body as his arms wrap around you holding you tight in his arms, never letting go. You cry so much from happiness, because now you know, everyone down On Earth, every person you loved, you will see again, there's no need to worry, because you will wait, and you will wait here with your beloved family/friends, talking about everything that has happened to him and to you, catching up on everything you both have missed over the long days and nights, you will talk about your life, and you will smile because death is like another part of life, it's a new start, a new chapter.