The kraut in hell (Loona x male reader)

A bittersweet night.

Y/N POV
I was just sitting in my office. It was still Hellmas Eve. I was watching some videos on my new phone. I suddenly hear cursing coming from the lounge. I grab my Gewehr 98 and my Pickelhaube, and sprint out. Loona is there with a male hellhound.

???: Loona calm down!

Loona: (through tears) What the fuck do you mean calm down? You cheated on me with a stripper!

???: I'm sorry!

Loona: Sorry doesn't fucking cut this time Mike! Get the fuck outta my life!

She punches Mike in the face, then proceeded to leave, running past me crying. I feel my blood start boiling. I walk into the lounge, bolting my rifle.

Y/N: Hello.

Mike: Who the hell are you, and why are you dressed like a dork?

Y/N: One of Loona's coworkers.

Mike: that only answers one quest...

I cut him off.

Y/N: I'm a soldier, I died and got sent here, any other questions?

Mike: Yeah, what're you doing here?

Y/N: (takes aim) Putting a bullet through your brain.

I pull the trigger, and it hits right between his eyes. He hits the floor with a loud thud, and I call up Blitz.

Blitz: Y/N? What do you need?

Y/N: How do I dispose of a body?

Blitz: Just leave it there, Moxxie and I will deal with it in the morning.

Y/N: Thanks boss.(hangs up)

I don't like killing, in fact I vowed that I'd wouldn't ever again unless I had too, but this bastard hurt the person that I love. I walked to Loona's office. I put my ear to the door, and heard her crying. I sighed. I decided to go to the liquor store across the street, after looting some money off of mike's body. I got some vodka and cognac. I get back and knock on her door.

Loona: Mike I told you fuck off!

She's still crying heavily, her voice is shakey.

Y/N: It's Y/N, can I come in?

She hesitates, but then responds

Loona: S-s-sure.

I walk in. She has mascara rolling down her furred cheeks. She had done her makeup. I walked over, scooting a chair over, I place down the liquor down in front of her. She grabs the vodka and takes a large sip as you sit. She looks at you, and hugs you, sobbing into the collar of your trench coat. You hold her while she's crying.

Loona: why?

Y/N: Why what?

Loona: Why did he cheat on me?

Y/N: I don't know. All I know is that he's wrong.

Loona: Did I do something wrong? D-d-d-did I....

I cut her off, cupping her face, rubbing it gently.

Y/N: Shut it!

Loona: huh?

Y/N: You have done nothing wrong. The only thing you're guilty of is loving someone. They are the ones that did something wrong.

Loona: I, I, I,

Y/N: shush, just calm down.

Loona: What did you do to Mike?

Y/N: That's none of your concern. Let's just say he'll never cheat on anyone ever again.

Loona: You shot him didn't you?

Y/N: maybe.

Loona: I heard the gun shot. I figured that's what happened but I didn't give a shit.

Loona continues drinking the vodka, until the bottle is half empty, and she's drunk.

Loona: Heya buddy how're you doing?

Y/N: awww shit your drunk.

Loona: whaddya mean dude? I'm you not are drunk!

Y/N: oh fuck.

I decide to lay her on one of the couches I had brought into my office so I could have some privacy in the mornings. After I lay her down I lay a puke bucket on the floor next to her. I tilt her head so in case she doesn't turn her head herself that she wouldn't asphyxiate herself in puke. I sit on the other couch. Loona starts murmuring to herself.

Loona: Oh, oh Y/N you dirty boy.

Great, now she's fantasizing about me, wait, is that my Pickelhaube in her hands?! She stole it from my head without me noticing! How?

Loona: I knew I loved you for a reason.

I blushed, despite the fact she barely knew me, she already had fallen for me, and I admit, I had fallen for her as well. She continues mumbling.

Loona: soldiers have always turned me on.

At this point she must be fucking punking me. I look around the armory trying to find the camera she must've hidden. You can't find anything though. Then you hear your Pickelhaube hit the floor, and loud snoring.

Y/N: I need a shot.

I go back to Loona's office and grab the vodka. I fill a shot glass and down it. I go back and lay down on the couch Loona isn't laying on. I take off my trench coat and cover Loona with it, she immediately snuggles into it, and her ear starts twitching a little bit.

Y/N: Night Loona, love you.

The drunk hellhound's tail was wagging. She was able to sputter out.

Loona: Love you to buuuuuddy~

I lay down, using the arm rest as my pillow.

End of chapter.