The kraut in hell (Loona x male reader)

A bachelor party for the ages (MS)

Heinz POV
Oh boy, Y/N's in for a treat! Fritz, Henry and I have cooked up the best Bachelor Party we could think of! We're going to start off mild enough, with some mini golf. But as the day goes on, we do more and more intense activities, such as drinking, air soft games, and at the end we're going Sky diving! It's going to be a hoot sky diving while drunk!
We drive up to the office in a luxury car, we knew the guy who owned it, he's Fritz's boss. Well, Y/N, where the hell are ya? Oh, there he is, walking out nervously. He hops in, and rides shotgun. He says anxiously.

Y/N: We better not be doing anything illegal, Loona will kill us if we do.

Fritz: Don't worry, not illegal, just stupidly dangerous!

Y/N: That's not much better!

I speak up.

Heinz: Chill out dude, we won't die, maybe a broken arm, maybe a std afterwards.

Y/N: Heinz you're not helping.

Henry: Don't worry, we're starting out the day really chill, mini golf!

Y/N: Mini golf, we're going to play mini golf for a bachelor party?

Fritz: No, that's what we are starting out with, we have a bunch of shit planned today!

Y/N sighs, concerned. We drive to the place, getting our clubs and ball. We go out to the course, and start having fun. We be idiots, launching our golf balls at the other's balls. There were several times we sunk other people's balls along with our own. Y/N hits it, and it bounces off a fence, on my helmet, then Fritz, then Y/Ns, then flies into the hole for a hole in one. We all laugh, clapping and cheering.

Y/N: Fucking hell!

Heinz: Holy shit dude!

Fritz: God damn bro!

Henry: Damn fine shot!

We continue on, and meet a Russian soldier. He smiles, and waves. We wave and he walks over.

Russian: Hello, my name is Adrian Tetishkey, and your names?

Heinz: Heinz Deroldin.

Y/N: Y/N Fuchs.

Fritz: Fritz Fuchs.

Henry: Henry Dinhaltz.

Adrian: Great to meet you guys, Umm, I hope we can get along?

Y/N: Of course man, the wars over for us so why treat each other as enemies?

Adrian: Oh god that's a relief. I'm here with to get away from life for a while, what're you guys here for?

Fritz: Bachelor Party! My little bro here is getting married!

He said, giving Y/N a large pat on the back.

Adrian: You're golfing for a bachelor Party?

Heinz: No, we have a large amount of things planned for the day!

Adrian: Could I, I don't know, hop along?

Y/N: Not at all, come along!

We then spend the next seven hours golfing, shooting at the gun range, drinking, dancing, drinking, some fishing, and even more drinking! We're all hammered, and we walk to where we're being picked up to go sky diving. When Y/N sees the plane however, he freaks out.

Y/N: I'm *hic* not going on that thing while drunk!

Heinz: Cmon Y/*burb*N, don't be sucha wetblanket!

Fritz: I forgot to, *hic*, mention, Y/N's scared of heights.

Adrian: We*hurp*ll, maybe we should just this over with?

We all agree and drag Y/N, who's kicking and screaming, on with us. We get wrapped up in parachutes and our rip chords are connected to a rod inside the door. After twenty minutes we are told to jump out when the doors are opened. Y/N is closest to the door, so he's to go first. He screams as he jumps.

Y/N: Für die Kaiser!

We all jump out behind him, screaming different lines based on which nation we were from. After a while, we land right outside the IMP office building. Our drunk asses walk inside and up to the IMP office. Y/N was still trembling. We walk him up, and he sees Loona.

Y/N: Hey wifey, *hic* how're you doing?

Loona: Hey hon, did you have fun?

Y/N: Yeah, until deez fuggers made me jump out of a plane.

Loona gives us a dirty stare.

Loona: You made him jump out of a fucking plane!?

We sober up very quick, and immediately leave, well Adrian doesn't, crazy fucker.

Loona POV
They went skydiving, and did it while drunk?!Did Y/N know until it happened? A Russian stands there, not knowing if he should run or not. I'll spare him.

Loona: If you know what's good for you Ruskie you'll leave.

Russian: Of *hic* course!

He sprints out of the office. I look at Y/N, who was looking at me scared. I smile at him, and pat my lap.

Loona Cmere hon.

He smiles and groggily walks over, swaying as he did. He sits in my lap, and he cuddles into my shoulder. This cutie, how can he call himself ugly? I kiss his head, and say.

Loona: Well I'm glad you mostly had fun today, love you.

Y/N: Luv u too huney.

He falls asleep just as the bell signifying the end of the shift rang. Time to finally return the favor. I carry him to a couch, setting up a puke bucket for him, and then I lay down and hugging him. Love you, my little doofus.

Chapter end