i cant do this anymore

-chapter 7-

Hey I know it's been a bit, but I've had writers block I guess, and I can't sleep it's currently 1 am for me so yeah, enjoy ig.

"Well what triggered this moment and thoughts?" said dr smith

"uhhhh I'm not real sure, I guess the main one was the night before I had lost my best friend of 2 years." I muttered while fidgeting with my purple and blue pop it I bought a few weeks ago.

"So how did this whole thing happen?" She questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Um well so we hadn't talked it a bit but that normal, but she comes up to me, and just says that she doesn't want to be friends with me. With no reason may I add. I tried asking but she had walked away before I got the chance. Thankfully it was the end of the day so when I got home I balled my eyes out for hours and I fell asleep. But then the next day came around and we saw how that went." I said with a straight face.

At this point I could care less. Cause I've noticed how everyone leaves. They might promise never to leave no matter what, and you believe that because the friendship or relationship may last a while, but it doesn't last forever. That's why I don't get close to people anymore. They all end in the same way, them leaving me. I've never left someone in my life, it's always them. And yeah it sucks, but it's their choice. I can't change the way they think nor what they do.

"Okay I understand. So how's the family going?" She asked as she nodded, her telling me she gets why I felt that way.

I chuckled."I don't even know anymore. I can't give you an answer because i haven't talked to them at all. They've given me space, other than them questioning me. And I haven't tried making conversation because look at where I am." I said raising my hands and patting the chair I was in.

Dr smith nods and looks up, assuming she's looking at the clock above my head. "Seems like our hour is up, next time tomorrow I'll see you. Go have fun and if you have any questions just come to me." She said

"Yeah yeah I get it. I've been here before dont worry." I said rolling my eyes jokingly walking out and shutting the door.

Once I closed the door I went into my room and laid on my bed. And grabbed my journal and just started writing. No I'm not "writing my feelings". I'm writing songs so it's actually productive.

After a few minutes I give up because I don't have any inspiration. Since dinner isn't until 6:30, whereas it's 5 right now I have some free time. And I really don't feel like playing speed or bs right now meaning I have nothing to do. So I just lay down and stare at the ceiling just thinking.

I really hope I can go home soon.

I wonder what songs will be on her new album.

I bet when I get discharged my friends didn't even notice I was gone. Wouldn't be the first time.

I wonder if she'll notice.

I bet she looks so beautiful right now.

God now I'm missing her so much.

I wonder how she is with kids. Or even better, cats.

Damn we aren't even dating and I'm thinking about our future.

Classic

I laugh to myself and get tired of just sitting there so I walk out and go to the day room and see everyone is getting their vitals done, great timing. Once someone is done I cut in line and sit in the chair ignoring the person complaining. I couldn't bother.

Once I hear the constant ringing in my ears I take the wrap off my arm and walk away. I sit down in my chair. Yes. My chair. Everyone knows that I have my chair, you can tell which one it is, and if you're in it, you will get pushed off, and most likely get tea or Powerade poured on you. (We actually did this all the time)

Sighing I grab another chair and sit down and prop my feet up. And then grab a stack of uno cards and ask some of my friends if they wanna play bs. I spilt the cards into the groups and hand them out.

After game

"Ha losers!" I say as I slam my fist on the table making everyone look up at me with their mouths open, not believing me.

"Told y'all I'm great at lying" I said smirking and winking at the girl that had been staring at me. She turns away and acts as if she wasn't just eye fucking me. I noticed how her cheeks slowing turned a slight pink as she smiled.

"Alright guys everyone line up, dinner time. Hey James go get kiley she's in 6A." I hear

I look up to see my favorite tech standing there holding her clipboard so she can mark everyone for dinner. I smile up at her and wave before getting up and getting in line with the other 10 kids.

After dinner

"Okay guys last time for vitals and then meds." One of the nurses says

Once again I go up first and leave to get my meds for the night.

"Thank you ma'am." I said to the nurse smiling as I took the small cup and took the pills.

Yes, yes I can be nice to people. Only when I choose to be. And I wanna get out of this hell.

I look up at the clock and see it's 9:15 meaning we need to be in our rooms in a bit and I just go ahead and decide to head into my room. But I make sure to let my roomie know.

Then I lay down on literally the most uncomfortable bed. And grab my hoodie to cuddle. Go ahead laugh at me. It's comforting. I then sigh and close my eyes.

I can't wait to get out of this place. One more day.

1038 words