Over the next week, the tension eases slightly. Ebony is the first to accept or forgive my sudden outburst. She sits with me, comforts me with her silence. I do my very best to think of lighthearted things to fill the void, like Campbell's endless mouth. So strange that he can speak so freely when he isn't behind that lectern.
Thomas eventually stopped avoiding me too, now tiptoeing like an insect in the jaws of a venus flytrap.
But Johnny showed no signs of forgiveness. His was the most necessary, but he'd never stoop down, especially not for me. Johnny and I are alike in that way. Two immovable objects that would never meet. And that was putting a strain in our dorm.
I'm walking down the hallway from the lifts, slipping the keycard from my back pocket. When I reach forward, I'm cut off by another hand pressing a card to the reader. I slant a glare him—Johnny. Something bubbles in my veins, something that feels like lightning and needs to be released. We cram ourselves into the doorway and tumble into the room at the same time.
"Dibs on the bathroom!" I announce, ripping the pack off my body. Thomas and Ebony seem confused or terrified. Or both.
"Dibs doesn't mean anything," Johny sneers, striding into bathroom. I plant myself on my bed, folding my arms with a huff.
"So, you two are getting along again," Tom hums. With just one glance, he can read every thought I'm having.
"You should apologise to Johnny," Ebony huffs, tapping away at her laptop.
"I don't think he's ready for that," I shrug.
"Well, when would be a good time, then?"
"Dunno. Whenever I feel like it."
Tom rocks forward in the desk chair to stand. "That's the thing." He shakes his golden mane. He's trying to be kind about it. "It's not about you, Addi. It was, bug now it's about Johnny. You made him feel bad, don't you see?"
"I made him feel bad?" I scoff, a little nastier than intended. "You know who you're talking about, right? No one makes Johnny feel bad. Johnny's the one who makes other people feel bad."
"So, you think your outburst was a good thing?"
A beat passes. "No, I never said that. I just meant— I dunno, he probably doesn't care. He's over it."
"He's so over it," Ebony adds sardonically. "That's why you're always glaring at each other."
I lull my head to Tom. "You have a brother. You know what it's like."
"Yeah, we used to do this—when we were six. You're fourteen. You're better than this."
"We are! Johnny and I are on great terms," I reply hotly, right as the devil exits the bathroom.
Tom raises a brow to him. "What're you lookin' at, twink?" Johnny glares. I wear a satirical squint and disappear into the bathroom.
"UGh, why is it so wet in here?"
Johnny snorts. "It's called condensation, dumbass."
***
When I'm out, everyone's ready for bed. Including Johnny, who's nestled in my bed. He pretends I'm not standing over him with wisps of smoke spouting from my ears. I clear my throat and gets up, feigning innocence. "Kept your bed warm."
HE PROBABLY FARTED IN IT LMAOOO
The lights automatically switch off, leaving me to climb under my uncannily warm covers. Once settled (as I can be), Johnny begins his next level of torture: tossing and turning, serious turbulence of the bottom bunk.
I will kill him.
"Stop that, you cretin!"
"Stop what?"
"You know what you're doing," I hiss, punching the underside of his mattress.
"Guys, chill!" Tom interjects.
"Shut up, Tom," we whisper-shout in unison. He rolls around in a huff.
"Stop being so annoying," I return to Johnny.
"No, you stop being annoying."
I sit up. "You first."
"You started it when you came at me the other day."
"Pfft, like you care."
"I wish I didn't."
My heart stops.
I crawl out, standing on the floor by his bunk. It's pitch black except for a slither of light slipping under the door. I can't see him fully but I hear him turn towards me.
"Guys, can we not do this right now?" Tom grumbles.
"Shut up, Tom." We exhale in shared humour.
How do I tell him, I wish I didn't care, too, Johnny. I just don't know how to tell him. I don't know how to talk to him.
After a moment, Johnny takes in a brave breath. "Now, before you call me stupid or call ballistic, I should tell you I was so confused. I was... following your lead because I was a little scared."
"You were scared?" I ask, a little amused.
"Just a bit. Don't go thinkin' you're tougher than me now." He sighs. "Man, I didn't know what to do. Honestly, I still don't know what I did wrong. Was it something I said?"
Pointlessly, I shake my head. "It was my fault for assuming. I thought you stole something from me. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm sorry I blamed you."
And also, I'm sorry I wanted it to be you. I didn't want it to be my fault so badly I'd hurt you until you apologised. You never did. But you were right.
Sounds about right, Siri.
"It's okay, Addi," he whispers with a yawn
I smile. Johnny and I are alike in the worst way. Maybe not the worst way. Maybe I'm not giving us enough credit for who we are.
"Finally," Tom sighs. "Can we sleep now?"
"Shut up, Tom."
