Blame it on me

Blame it on me chapter 15

Lil heads up in order to avoid confusion:

So you guys know that head canon that's about how Katsuki's nitroglycerin-like sweat is affecting his body's reaction to certain drugs? Because we are diving into that today.

It's kinda explained in the chapter BUT in case anyone needs a lil heads up before reading: basically the nitroglycerin-like substance in Katsuki's body by itself shouldn't mean much of a problem, —since as the quirks are developing, the body somewhat mutates in order for the person to sustain living and being able to use said quirk— but in Katsuki's case, adding a certain amount of chemicals aka drugs to his system might result in low blood pressure and in extreme cases, a cardiac failure. (Which is mentioned in chapter 11, when Katsuki is in the hospital)

The air was still damp in the bathroom from Katsuki's previous shower as they walked in. Katsuki remained at the doorway as he watched Shouta open the cabinet next to the mirror and take out a paper box, then place it onto the edge of the sink. He turned towards Katsuki with the same old neutral expression and Katsuki lowered his head, cursing existence because he got out of bed that day.

"I'm going to need you to take off your top." Shouta spoke and Katsuki fucking knew.

He stepped inside the room while pulling his hoodie and t-shirt over his head at the same time, ignoring how pain struck his back while doing so. A silent moment passed by after he placed his clothes onto the top of the laundry basket at his right side. Katsuki lowered his head further and turned it to the side, finding a random spot on the floor to stare at. He felt Shouta's eyes on him. They burned through his skin.

Katsuki wasn't something to look at. He wasn't something pleasant to see. All he was the remains of what the past damaged yet failed to destroy. He was aware. He understood. He soaked in it. Katsuki was what was left behind in every way possible.

After his parents left bruises on his skin, they didn't want to look at him until they faded. They never helped him put bandages on or even offer some ice for the swellings and bruises. They would just act like nothing happened. They didn't even want to acknowledge the damage they made. They didn't want Katsuki to voice it. They forbid him from asking for help, saying he was old enough to take care of himself, and he already took way too much of their time. His parents taught him he had to hide the bruises and never talk about them to anyone because if he did, everyone would know what a rotten nuisance he really was.

He knew they neglected him because he wasn't worthy of care. He wasn't special like damn Deku. They told him that a lot, too.

If the scars and terrible memories would get taken away, there would be nothing left of Katsuki. He was nothing. He had done nothing worthy of mentioning in his life. All he did was take what shouldn't have been his. He took years from his parents and because of him they were locked into prison. He was the most pathetic excuse of a human being to walk on this earth. No wonder why his parents wanted him to just die already.

He felt the icy claws of sorrow crawling up inside his guts, and at that point he wasn't sure it was same kind of pain any beating caused. His parents never really left his mind but as he reminded himself of what they wished for him the last time he saw them, he wished it would have come true.

Back in the hospital, he heard the doctors talk about how lucky he was that the police found him in time, since his wounds could have easily been fatal. Looking back, he was certain his parents would have kept him locked into his room for the entire weekend back then, which would have given him plenty of time to bleed out and die like they wanted him to. Katsuki didn't even have friends, so nobody would have looked for him. The only person who would have noticed he didn't go to school on Monday was Deku, since that little nerd would've finally got a day without Katsuki ruining it. Other than that, his parents could've gotten away with killing him.