Blame it on me

Blame it on me chapter 17

Katsuki didn't want to see what he looked like because he already knew he wasn't the same as before. He knew he couldn't be himself again. His old self was left bleeding out in his room upstairs at home. A part of him did die that day and was never to return. He never admitted it to himself before, but what he was looking at now was only what his parents left behind.

The shattered fragments of his soul glued together by terrible memories formed his new personality he adapted only to win his parents' love back and since there was no hope left for that, even his makeshift personality was pointless to exist. He wasn't who he used to be, and he wasn't who he pretended to be either.

Katsuki didn't even know who he was anymore. What he looked at was an empty shell of a worthless, dysfunctional kid he barely recognized.

The dead pale tone of his skin was only stained by the dark circles bruised around his eyes, carrying the weight of the countless sleepless nights he spent wondering why he existed. His eyes were dark and hopeless, staring back at him while displaying no true emotion. The scar drawing from his jawline towards his cheek started throbbing with pain that felt much more real than it should have as Katsuki's mind started slipping into an bottomless pit of self-hatred.

He was slightly embarrassed knowing this was what everyone had been looking at for the past few months, but people got what they saw: A fucking disappointed.

On that note, Katsuki suddenly became aware Hizashi was millimeters away from him, beaming at him proudly, like he was anything to smile at. He dragged his eyes up to check what he originally was supposed to.

Turned out Hizashi did not lie when he said he was a pro. Katsuki's hair probably never looked better. It was a bit more on the undercut side than the way it used to be, but he kept the right length for the bangs as he promised.

Katsuki swallowed around the lump forming in his throat, clenched his fists, and forced himself to look aside from the mirror to glance up at Hizashi.

"Guess you really could be a hairdresser."  Katsuki mumbled as his best attempt of a compliment the adult was obviously waiting for.

"I know, right?" Hizashi sang and he dusted the hair off Katsuki's collar before lifting the fabric from around his body. "Show yourself to Hitoshi while I clean this up, alright? Then we'll have something to eat, is that cool?"

Hizashi sounded way too cheerful to make plans with Katsuki involved, but he had been wanting to get out of the bathroom ever since Hitoshi yanked him inside.

Oh, yeah, he still needed to murder him for that.

With a new to-do list in mind, Katsuki did as Hizashi told him to, and he walked downstairs to look for Hitoshi. He found the idiot slumped over an oversized armchair in the living room, watching the TV with no Shouta in sight. Hitoshi had Shima curled up on his lap and he was yet to notice Katsuki as he scanned the area for the missing adult, but detected nothing.

Good.

He stomped closer to the idiot and smacked him on the top of his head before saying a word.