Blame it on me

Changes 3

Sorry for having y'all wait so long also there is angst in this one now I will start updating more now cause I got free time again sorry for the long wait

If Hitoshi were to say his brother was acting off today, he would be lying because Katsuki had been 'off' for the past two weeks. There was nothing wrong with that, everyone had their own baggage in their house. Hitoshi's problem was the elongating list of things that were impossible to be discussed with his brother since he literally started yelling, covered his ears and ran away whenever they tried. He acted like the Sludge Villain incident never even happened. He came home that afternoon, took a shower and sat in his room doing homework without saying a word about what took place and Hitoshi was a hundred percent sure if they didn't turn on the TV that day, they would have never found out about it. Ever since then, Katsuki haven't gone to sleep over in Hitoshi's room and the News channel haven't been turned on whenever he was home.

As if that wasn't enough, Katsuki stopped going to therapy, and just a week after all of that, some weird kid followed him home, and he's been waking up screaming every other night since. Pops said the weirdo claimed he knew Katsuki, and he didn't exactly deny they knew each other, but he refused to give a coherent explanation, then he locked himself and Kuro into his room for the rest of that day.

Going around it wouldn't work forever. Their dads recognized it, too, but Katsuki refused to accept any form of help or to even address the subjects. Things were piling up, and closing in on the end of May, the anniversary of Katsuki being taken from his parents, they were left with the option of just waiting for Katsuki to crumble.

Hitoshi hated the whole concept of it as he thought he and his older brother have grown close enough to be able to discuss such manners.

Auntie Nemuri was always too kind, and she probably noticed his parents have been worrying too much lately, which is why she invited them out for a few drinks on Friday. Back in the day, they used to go out together every other week, when work wasn't too busy. Once Katsuki had settled in with them, they started going out again. Katsuki used to be weird about it, and later it turned out he had a few too many unpleasant experiences featuring his parents and alcohol. Hitoshi made sure to explain to him their dads weren't the kind of people who would come home drunk to hurt them, just like he explained everything else to his brother whenever he was uncertain of things. Just like Katsuki would share his thoughts when Hitoshi was unsure of himself.

Hitoshi loved Katsuki, and he cherished to know he was needed. He had Katsuki's back just as much as he had his. Which was why he was growing frustrated with Katsuki's newfound habit of not wanting to discuss the recent happenings, even though he was clearly not okay. Refusing to talk to a therapist? Fine. Shutting their dads out? Nothing that hadn't happened before. Shutting Hitoshi out? The bullshit had to stop right there.

Eyeing the bathroom door upstairs, Hitoshi calculated his brother had been in there for about twenty minutes now. Even if he were to not notice Katsuki was acting more strange than his usual, he would most certainly pick up on that, since Katsuki loathed the pure concept of having a physical form that he had to take care of. He hated himself with a different passion than Hitoshi, but at least just as much. He limited his minutes in the bathroom to the absolute minimum, taking the shortest showers necessary to clean himself, never making time for a bath, walking around the house while brushing his teeth, doing random tasks to pretend he was busy only to create an excuse for avoiding mirrors at all costs. Hitoshi accepted his way of self-hatred just like Katsuki never made fun of him for having a depressive episode every other week.

There were matters they didn't need to say out loud to understand each other, and there were things they talked about but wouldn't share with anyone else. On the rarest occasions, they would talk about their lives before being adopted. Sometimes, they would mention their biological parents, too. Hitoshi knew it was just as a sensitive topic for his brother than him, and he could only hope Katsuki felt as safe when they were together as he was.