Changing the direction of your company is one thing. Re-naming it and reclaiming it as a force for GOOD is another. Regaining people's trust after the rampage of destruction caused by her brother - and her mother - had proved to be more difficult than Lena thought it would be. In this new post-crisis world, however, the Luthor family was seen as heroic, they even worked alongside of the Kryptonians.
No one apart from the "Paragons" knew of the true nature of Lex Luthor and his hatred of all things Alien - ESPECIALLY the kryptonians. Well, the paragons and Lena. Thanks to Lex's deal with the monitor, Lena's memories had been kept in tact. Meaning she remembered killing him and consequently learning that her Best friend was in fact Super Girl.
Lena was no fool. She knew that Lex couldn't be trusted. But on this new earth, he treated her with so much dignity and respect. So even after Kara had shown up to be sure she knew the truth about the new world - about HER - she couldn't help but be pulled back to her brother. Kara landing on her balcony promising to treat her like any other villain didn't make her decision any easier. But at least Lex had been warm and open with her. It wasn't until her project failed miserably that Lex had shown her his true colors.
Once again, she was faced with the monster that hid beneath the skin of her once kind hearted brother. His words and his anger had sent her spiraling into a dark place that she hadn't found herself in in many years. Normally when things got dark, she would call Kara. She had a way of making every situation seem ok, and was able to pull Lena out of even the darkest of Pits. But thanks to her decision to work with Lex, calling Kara was no longer an option.
She had no one. No friends, no family. She was painfully alone and she couldn't deal with it any longer. Maybe it was the all of the scotch she'd had to drink or the fact that she hadn't slept in 3 days, but Lena was in a downward spiral and she didn't know if she could - or wanted to - pull herself out of it. Maybe she should just go to bed, things could be different tomorrow. She wasn't naive enough to believe that really, but she was both physically and emotionally exhausted. Sleep would be a welcomed distraction.
Getting up from her place on the couch, she noticed just how much she'd had to drink. As if the several empty bottles weren't enough of a clue, Lena found herself unable to steady herself and fell into the table, sending the emptied glass bottles to the floor. Even in her drunken state, she'd been able to register what was happening and put her hands out to catch herself, but even that proved useless when she fell directly onto the shattered remains of tonight's bender.
Seeing the blood seeping from her arms and hands, Lena expected to be in a great deal of pain. Maybe it was the fact that she'd had too much to drink, but even as she watched the blood dripped steadily from her arms into the floor Lena felt nothing. This lack of physical pain from an obviously severe wound intrigued her. If only she could be so numb to the pain she felt watching her best friend call her a villain. Or her brother screaming in her face.
Lena stared at her arms much longer than any stable person should. When the blood began to clot around the wounds, she couldn't help but feel a slight sense of sadness. This whole ordeal had been oddly therapeutic, and she wasn't ready for it to stop just yet. Picking up a broken piece of glass beside her, she took a deep breath and drug it across the skin on her arm. Surprisingly, she was met with a not unwelcome pain as the shard tore through her already blood covered skin. Once the initial cut was made however, she felt little pain as she watched the blood flow freely. Interesting. One more time. Then once more. Then again and again and again, Lena began making shallow cuts into the skin on both of her arms. Each time the sensation was the same: controlled pain of her own making, then a numbing sensation - both mentally and physically - as she watched the blood drip to the floor.
Maybe it was the loss of blood, or the fact that she STILL had enough alcohol in her system to render any normal person incapacitated, but Lena found herself more relaxed than she'd been in a long time. Dropping the piece of glass from her hand, she leaned back against the couch and took a deep breath. Peace. That's what she felt. She wasn't stupid, she knew that she had probably lost too much blood and that if she fell asleep she'd never wake up, but that's was a small price to pay for the peace she felt in this moment. As her eyes began to close, she heard the once familiar sound of feet dropping down on her terrace floor. The last thing she saw was the terrified face of her former best friend and then everything was dark.
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There's a Traitor Here Beneath My Breast...
FanfictionLena has just come to terms with everything that has happened in the last year. The project she'd been tricked into working on with Lex had failed miserably. All she wanted to do was create a world where people were incapable of hurting each other...
