Eyes Closed [TWD]

°•five•°

"Carl, what the hell?" I hiss as Negan closes the front door behind him to talk to Spencer.

"Not now," he whispers back.

"What the hell were you doing together? Did you show up together?" I continue to push.

"Yes," he says with a hushed voice.

"Did he find you on your way to Hilltop?" I ask.

He sighs, looking to the floor and I realize the longer I study his face.

"You didn't even go to Hilltop," I accuse.

"I did," he defends, "They showed up while I was there."

"Is Maggie okay? What happened?" I ask, head spinning.

"Maggie's fine. Jesus hid her and Sasha away when that Simon guy and others showed up," he explains.

Even more confused, I demand, "Then how did you end up with Negan?"

He looks to me with a guilty face then back to the floor.

"Jesus and I saw chance to get on one of the trucks," he says, "We got on and it took us to where Negan lives. Jesus told me we'd get off at a certain point but I didn't listen and stayed on."

I scoff in disbelief, placing my hands on my hips and pacing.

"So, you just serve yourself right up for him literally at his front door?" I ask.

"I was going to take him out. I almost did but," he sighs, "Dwight got a hold of me first."

Inhaling, I try my best to keep calm. Now wasn't the time for an argument. Especially with Negan just feet away on the front porch.

"Listen," Carl pleads, stepping closer to me, "I saw the chance and I had to take it."

He sets his hand on my arm and I take a step away, brushing him off.

"After what we just talked about? I beg you not to put yourself in danger and what do you do a week later?" 

"I'm sorry," he sighs.

"Sorry isn't enough this time," I say.

"It just.. it changed."

"What changed?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"Seeing you watch that video, everything Glenn said in that video, seeing Maggie.." he pauses, "Seeing the graves."

I feel myself tense at the words. Even I hadn't been to the graves..

"Seeing you with Judith then hearing Maggie talk about the baby. It just made me think how Judith has been growing up without our mom.. That baby is gonna be the same way without a dad," he continues.

"Carl," I breathe, placing one of my hands on my forehead as I try to process everything.

"I just saw a chance to take him out and needed to take it," he finishes.

I meet his gaze, seeing just how emotional and determined he was about the whole ordeal. With a sigh, I step forward, wrapping my arms around his neck. He relaxes a bit, his arms going around my waist.

"I'm sorry," I apologize.

"It's not on you," he denies.

"Are you okay?" I ask, rubbing his back.

Negan wouldn't have accepted him just appearing out of nowhere. And if that was his motive and Dwight 'got to him first', he must've taken out a number of Saviors. There must've been consequences. With Negan, there always was.