Eyes Closed [TWD]

°•thirteen•°

"I keep forgetting that he's gone. I have this weight.. There's moments when I think I'll see him That I'll be able to talk about how I'm feeling with him. Then, my mind catches up.. And.. I remember that the pain is about knowing that it will never happen," Aaron explains.

"I know that feeling," Maggie says, her words from nights ago ringing through my ears.

"Does it get easier?" Aaron asks.

"No," Maggie shakes her head, careful of Gracie who slept on her chest, "But, it helps to do something about it."

"It only makes things worse if you lose your head," Kate adds, "You gotta remember that you're not just living for yourself. You're living for their memory, too."

Aaron nods at their words, slowly digesting it all.

"And you're also living for that little one now," Kate adds in regards to Gracie.

"I know that feeling three times over," Maggie chuckles.

As they open up to each other about their trials of Eric, Glenn, and Beth, I stare at the floor.

Brian crossed my mind for a single second, but I knew that how I felt then was nothing like they were describing.

And at the thought of losing Carl.. I don't think I could ever be as strong as they were currently being. They were still going despite the agony- they were strong and determined. If I ever lost Carl.. I don't think I'd be able to wake up the day after from the sheer pain of it all. I would simply and genuinely die of a broken heart the moment I lost him.

Drowned in my thoughts, I almost don't hear Jesus open the door and enter.

"I just wanted to say that I think you did the right thing," Jesus says, "And I wanted to thank you."

"Don't," Maggie denies.

Gracie whines in her arms, causing her to stand up to comfort her through gentle bounces.

"The Saviors in that pen might be bargaining chips. Maybe we'll have to trade them for some of our own people. They're alive cause we might need them," she explains her true intentions before turning to look at him.

"Jesus, if we don't.." she sighs, "We can't let them live."

Aaron inhales sharply at the words before standing up discreetly. And as he walks out the doors, Enid follows close behind.

--

"How about I keep her and you stay, too?" I offer.

"I like that plan much more, but Michonne has put her foot down," Carl sighs.

"Michonne should've showed up herself. Wounds or not," I frown.

Carl was the one to show up today to give the next set of letters as well as bring Judith back to Alexandria where Michonne wouldn't stop complaining that she missed her.

We'd only have a few minutes before he'd have to leave again in order to bring the next letter to someone that would meet him halfway to Kingdom for their letter.

"Look who's here," Maggie says as she and Judith walk in the door.

"Carl!" Judith happily exclaims, stumbling into a jog.

"Hey!" he greets, kneeling down and stretching his arms out to bring her into a hug.

"You know," Maggie smiles, "You can go back with them."

"Yeah, you should come home with us," Carl agrees.

"I.. I don't know," I sigh but push it back as I smile to Judith.