Eyes Closed [TWD]

°•six•°

"We'll just be right inside, all right?" Maggie says, rubbing my arm.

"Okay," I nod.

She gives a soft smile before following close behind the others into the large building.

With a nervous inhale, I make my way to the area she pointed out. Once around the corner, I stop my movements as I catch sight of what I was after to begin with.

Breathe..

Forcing my feet to move again, I finally reach the two graves.

"Oooh," I exhale, carefully kneeling by the second grave.

Though my mouth was dry, I still swallow and shakily continue to breathe my way through my actions.

Placing my hand on the mound of dirt, I smile sadly, "Hi, dad."

Sniffling back the tears, I brush my hand back and forth delicately.

"I should've come sooner," I admit, "I'm sorry."

I pull my legs out from under me, sitting down fully and sitting crisscross.

"I'm sorry," I repeat, not sure just how to begin.

"I never thought this day would come. At least not so early.. I thought you-" breathe, "You were gonna get to be Hershel's age. Dale's age, even.."

"You'd be there.. Mom would have the baby.. We'd get to all watch them grow up. But, most importantly- you'd be there."

Clenching my jaw, I still try and fight the tears and I could almost hear him telling me it was okay to cry.

"I've been crying too much," I laugh, the tears escaping at their own will, "Way too much. Carl should be fed up with me by now."

I liked to think I carried myself stronger than I felt most of the time. After being through so much, crying and breaking down every now and then was inevitable. But, I wanted to believe I was able to push through those times and keep it together for the most part.

Until now..

"I can't go anywhere- see anything without this happening," I tell him, no thinking too hard about the lack of response.

"Your clothes are on the floor- I lose it.. I see a video of you? I never stood a chance. I do anything that even slightly reminds me of you.. I can't handle it," I rant.

"Carl's been- well, everything for me. With mom being here and Kate just now getting back from that run, he's all I've had. I know that's not true, I know I have family everywhere. But, he's been my everything through this. If not for him and staying strong for Judith, I don't know what I'd do."

Sighing, I nod, "So, I get what you meant out by the firetruck. 'Glad it's him'.."

I smile a bit, remembering just how clueless we were back then. Clueless about everything quite literally.

"I'm glad that you're glad it's him," I laugh, able to see Glenn's smile at the words.

Nodding to myself, I open up more, "I love him. Really."

"I thought I knew what it was before, but I had no clue. Seeing you and mom.. seeing Kate after Beth.. what you said about him.. what he's done for me in these past few weeks.. the sweet and stupid things- everything in between.." I name, knowing I could still say more.

"I really, really love him, dad," I sigh.

"Back at the farm," I clear my throat, "I was so desperate to get you and mom together. I tried setting you up a few times. But, you didn't need me to do that. You two figured it out on your own."