Love, Sex & Regrets

Part 9

I chose you

"Jin c'mon lets go home, you've been doing overtime for weeks now."

"Just go home Tara" Jinny said while wiping down the coffee station counter.

Tara sighed, "I miss my friend."

"You see me everyday."

"The old one. Not this version, the genuinely happy Jinny. "

She shook her head and half smiled at Tara

"Even that looked so fake and forced." Tara mocked, pointing at her smile.

It's been a month since she last saw Daniel and Tara's right, she's been not feeling herself ever since that night. She's been doing a lot of over time at work and making herself busy to distract herself from thinking about him, from thinking about everything.

"Bye! See ya tomorrow!" her co-worker said as he walked away after they closed the shop, she worked until closing again.

"Take care benny" she replied without looking at him because she was looking for her phone in her bag. When she found it and lifted her head up. She was stunned.

He was there suddenly, standing few steps away from her.

He half smiled "Lets talk Jin" Daniel calmly said.

They walked quietly and sat down in one of the bench at a pocket park just nearby the shop. She can feel him gazing at her while she tries to not look at him.

"That last time, don't you think it's a pretty awful ending for us." Daniel breaking the silence

She chuckled softly keeping her eyes in the art installation at the middle of the park.

"That's why I came to see you cause I don't want that to be our last memory . . . we had a lot of good times Jin, we at least deserve a proper farewell."

She can feel the tears starting to fill her eyes up but she tried to look brave.

"Before that night." Daniel paused a little taking a deep breath.

"Sandra and I talked and she asked me if I wanted for us to try it again, to give our relationship another chance, that she's already willing to move here, if I want to. —"

" . . . .But I don't know why suddenly I thought about you and I was thinking that maybe I'm just confused, that it was just nothing . . . that it's just sex and our friendship. —That I should say yes to her."

"But that night at the manor I realized it and I was so sure about it . . . about how I feel for you—"

"And I chose you Jin . . . I chose you that night."

Those words stabs right through her heart, Tears spilled down her cheeks and she couldn't stop it anymore.

She looked at him "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" the only words that came out of her mouth,

Daniel put his right hand on her face and wiped her tears

"Its okay" his reassuring voice and his huge hand cupped in her cheeks comforted her and lessened the pain she was feeling.

"Just do me a favor . . . take care of yourself okay?" he continued.

She nodded and smiled through her tears.

He smiled at her and continued to wipe her tears.

"I hope one day you find out how truly special you are."

Reset

Jinny wandered on the street sidewalk after they went on their separate ways, lost in thought, not minding the cars passing through, She was not sobbing but her heart cries out in pain. She could've had something real but she chose to let it go just because she couldn't love herself enough.

And because of that she keeps hurting others. She hurt the people that believe in her, she hurt her father, she hurt Daniel, and she hurt herself.

Streetlights reflecting bleakly in her eyes, she paused and looked up at the sky, a sudden impulse came to her, a strong desire to change everything in her life.

She wanna stop running away, she wanna stop drowning herself with regrets. She wanna forgive herself.

It was midnight already as she knocked on the door hoping someone would open it.

"Jinny?"

"Dad." she said with teary eyes

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"Dad I'm sorry— I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for dropping out of school, I'm sorry for being like this, for being a failure." she sobbed.

"—I know what I wanted to do this time, please help me dad, I wanna make everything right." she pleaded.

Her dad grabbed her and hugged her tightly

" I'm here. I'll always be here, I'll help you no matter what. You're my daughter.

And she burst out of tears.