HIATUS - A Forced Love Fueled By Loss

Chapter 7; 💜🌹🕊️ Just a thought...? 🦇🌹💜

(Closed captions should be used on the video/song for this chapter if you want to see what the Japanese lyrics say!)

Rose looked at the stone walls blankly.

Inpu hasn't been here in a very long time.

He didn't know if he should be happy or if he should sob and beg for him back.

The room was dark, the candle that lit up the room long burned out.

Only him and his thoughts.

Was that a good thing?

He couldn't tell.

He could never tell, really.

Not now, not before, and he probably never will.

On one hand, he was able to clear his head and reminisce about the past.

On the other, bloodied hand, it gave him more time to look at all the pain he caused.

Should he have just stayed dead this time?

He tilted his head in the darkness, the only reason he was able to see being his glowing green eyes.

Maybe...he deserved this for having the audacity to exist.

Yes...

That was why Inpu hurt him.

After all, a creature as miserable as him shouldn't have come back, and he was paying the price.

So why did Inpu touch him gently sometimes?

Why did some of the torture not hurt at all?

He couldn't understand that part.

What he could understand, however, is that he deserved this.

He thought for a long while, all of his sins crushing him from the inside.

What if he just...let himself forget?

Forget all he's done.

Forget all he knew.

Forget all of the eras he's lived through.

Just...

Restart.

Become something that maybe...just maybe...

The world could accept and love.

Getting rid of memories was not impossible for him, he would need that sort of thing as an immortal being, but he tried not to do it. It's like cleaning up spoiled milk that spilled on the floor without using any soap or sprays. The memories will  be gone, but every time he would try to think about the past, he'd get a wispy snippet of the memory. 

And of course, after doing this to his memories, he wouldn't be able to retrieve them. He would only keep important knowledge like his name, how to do basic things like talk and walk, and, of course, what he is. Otherwise, he wouldn't recall a thing. Not a single bit of his past. 

None of his original personality, none of his original morals, just a blank slate that people can build upon.

And that's what he felt the world wanted instead of him.

After all, wasn't that obvious? He couldn't believe he didn't notice it before. They didn't want him, they didn't need him, and what was he even doing?

Why did he say he wanted ultimate power when he doesn't know what it means to him?

He guessed it meant...that he wanted to be in control of something for once. In control of himself, maybe even in control of another. 

Either way, it won't matter.

If he forgets, then that goal will die. 

But maybe not yet.

Maybe wait a bit longer, until the pain is gone. Until it's only love and comfort. Let his new self grow in a happy environment, this time with good morals and thoughts of bettering the world instead of ruining it.

Yeah...he liked that thought, which is rare for him.

He felt the gag inside his mouth, but that didn't stop the corners of his mouth from turning up the slightest bit. It was sickening how he found some form of joy, even after everything that has happened. Perhaps it had something to do with the way it began, but he felt as if this was done out of some form of adoration. Maybe, just maybe, he wasn't so abhorrent that nobody could ever look at him with any sort of good emotion. 

He was being very good while Inpu was gone, he hadn't moved and had hardly even breathed since he left. 

Inpu would have wanted him to be like this while he was gone, he wouldn't have wanted him to move. 

That's what he told himself. 

Either way, he was still and silent, awaiting his return.

He was unknowingly awaiting his fate, his destiny, and all that would come of it.

(Sorry I haven't updated this in so long! I've been trying to write a lot of books at once and it's a tiny bit stressful sometimes-)