SORE • l. ackerman ✓

Bonus Chapter | regret

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Very very light smut, but not actual smut

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I woke up to the sun shining on my eyelids through the slightly open curtains. I rolled over and seen that Jean was still sleeping, his mouth hung open. I sighed deeply, wishing that it was Levi. I'd do anything just to be able to sleep next to him again.

Jean's bed was uncomfortable and his pillows made my neck and shoulders hurt, I missed the bed I'd left behind at my own home, where Levi was still staying alone. After a month I'd expected him to have already moved out, but he was still there, most likely still distraught over the breakup while he thought I was happy with someone else, however I was anything but happy. I wasn't even close to satisfied.

I closed my eyes briefly, my head swarming with thoughts of how horribly I'd messed up, how my decision lead me back into the same, one sided relationship I was in back before I met Levi one year ago. But this time was different, it was Jean with the unrequited love for me. I wasn't interested in him and I was only using him so I wouldn't feel so lonely, but it was pointless as being with him made me feel gut wrenching, unbearable loneliness.

Levi made those twelve months feel like a lifetime, giving me everything Jean never could in two and a half years. I wanted to run back, to hold him again, to cry into his chest and tell him how terribly I'd missed him, to feel genuine affection for a man who I knew would make everything better, but even so he would probably push me aside for the girl he'd betrayed my love with.

I grimaced as I leaned into Jean's bare chest, resting my head over his heart. I heard the gentle thuds against it as i reached my hand up to rest it on his shoulder. His snores came to an abrupt end, and his body jolted forward slightly, his eyes shooting open at the sudden feeling. He relaxed under my touch eventually, wrapping his arm around me.

"Good morning," he said quietly, his voice deep and husky. I didn't answer, settling for holding him just as I hoped I could hold my lover. My Levi. Pretending Jean was him wasn't enough. I needed him.

"D'you sleep good?" He asked. I knew I couldn't tell him the truth, how his uncomfortable bed caused my back to ache and how I had a dream of Levi that night. I nodded against his chest as I felt him start to play with my hair.

As the day went on, he was his usual bright self, going out of his way to do small sweet gestures for me. It felt like he really did care in a way he never did when I was truly his. Too bad this time I wasn't interested in his nonsensical acts.

"They're already waiting for us so please try to hurry," he said with a kiss to the top of my head. I nodded and looked up at his eyes, and I knew he seen that I wasn't happy. He grabbed both sides of my face, soothing his thumbs over my cheeks.

"It'll all be okay, angel,"

I internally gagged at the old nickname but offered him a small forced smile. He fell backwards on the bed, his knees bent and his feet touching the floor.

The night Levi and I went back to the club.

While I got myself ready and fought back tears, he stayed on the bed on his phone. My throat stung and my face heated up but I hid it well enough that nobody would ever know anything was wrong.