Standing Alone

Part 16 (Mentions abuse)

I wake the next morning with some discomfort but it's tolerable. I head down to the common room.

"Any plans for the day?" Ginny asks

"Reading in the library." I answer

"I have a date with Seamus" Ginny smiles

"Here I thought you liked my brother" I joke

Ginny covers my mouth

"Shh, don't be spilling my secrets" Ginny yells and I laugh

"Have fun Gin" I say and walk to the library.

"Holly?" Someone says as I'm engrossed in my book

I look up to find Draco. He sits in a chair next to me.

"How are you?" he asks

I ignore him and focus on the book.

"Not going to make this easy huh" he states

I keep my eyes on my book, not really reading but I also don't want to face him.

"Can you please look at me?" he asks

I take a deep breath and I look at him

He smiles a little

"Thank you. Look I get that I was a royal git in the past, but I truly am interested in you." He admits

"Ironic timing." I whisper thinking about him being under Voldemort's thumb

"You know about that?" He asks quietly

I look him in the eyes and nod.

"That has nothing to do with this." He states

"I'm sorry but I just don't believe you." I whisper

"Well, I'll just have to prove it to you." he answers

"Draco, it's just not a good time." I state and get up

Hermione becomes fed up with Umbridge and the Ministry and convinces Harry to start their own secret DADA club where Harry would teach us how to use defensive spells. They spend a few days trying to find the perfect place to meet and practice. Neville was actually the one to find the Room of Requirements and Harry found it absolutely perfect. Now that Harry was teaching others, I saw his confidence grow and I started to believe once more that we would be alright after all.

Between Dumbledore's secret army and Ginny's new boyfriend there wasn't much time for us to hang out one on one, so I was mostly in the library studying. I was severely missing my potion lessons. It always helped calm my nerves.

Draco would occasionally come to the library and just talk about what was one his mind and I would just listen. I actually started to believe him based on our conversations.

We talked about his relationship with his father and I kind of felt bad. I just hoped it wasn't all a joke to him.

A few weeks before Christmas I wake in the middle of the night frightened. Harry. I bolted out of bed and found Harry screaming.

I see Ron trying to wake him up.

Suddenly Harry looks at Ron.

"He's got your father, he's hurt." Harry says seriously

"Go get help, now" I shout to the person behind me

"He's being attacked." Harry mutters over and over

Soon Professor McGonagall is there and we take Harry to Dumbledore's office.

Harry is talking with Dumbledore and I'm holding Ginny's hand supporting her.

Dumbledore sends Ron, Ginny, Fred and George to go be with their family.

Suddenly Harry shouts at Dumbledore.

"What is happening to me?" He asks scared

"You wished to see me, headmaster?" Professor Snape asks walking in

"We mustn't wait Severus, there is a connection within their minds." Dumbledore instructs.

Snape takes Harry and I bid my farewells to Ginny.

I wait in the common room unable to sleep. A little while later Harry returns with Snape.

"Miss. Potter follow me." Snape says and I nod

"Get some sleep Harry." I whisper as I pass him

Professor leads me down to a private room.

"I have been instructed to teach you and your brother Occlumency." he begins

My eyes widen and I take a deep breath

"Is it necessary?" I ask in a whisper

"Do you think I would be wasting my time in the middle of the night if it wasn't?" He snaps and I flinch slightly

"I know your scared but it is important." he says calm

"Yes, sir" I state

"Let's begin. Now remember you will need to control your mind and try not to let me in." He instructs and I nod trying to prepare myself.

Suddenly my early childhood is flashing before my eyes.

Harry and I laughing in the cubby, cooking and cleaning for Petunia. Dudley's lame pranks.

A few times I watched myself with Vernon. The sounds make me sick, watching it makes my stomach turn and I try so hard to walk away from the memory.

They keep coming, then suddenly the worst night of life appears. Vernon on top of me beating me senseless. The sound of his zipper was enough for me to push Snape from my memories.

"Holly" Snape starts but I turn on my heel and race up the stairs back to my room.

I curl up on the bed feeling humiliated and exposed. I cry myself to sleep. My dreams turn to nightmares and I just want it all to end.

When I wake up in the morning all I feel is dread. I know at some point professor will want to speak with me about last night. I decide to bite the bullet and go to his office. I slowly make my way to his office and knock.

"Enter" he says monotone.

I slowly enter

"Holly, please sit" he says surprised to see me

I sit down, still not looking at him

"I'm glad that you came." He states giving me time

"I'm not sure I am ready to talk." I whisper

"Holly, this is a safe place. Whatever, you say in here is private. You have my word." he says calmly

"Okay." I whisper

"Can I ask a question?" he asks softly

"Yes" I say unsure

"Did he...?" Professor isn't able to finish his question but I know what is referring to

"No, Aunt Petunia stopped him from going too far." I admit

Professor relaxes slightly.

"No one should ever be in that kind of situation. Not a single person. I'm so sorry that you were and that you have gone through more trauma than most." Professor tries to comfort

I nod tearing up at his words.

"We still need to practice Occlumency, you'll be safer when you can protect your mind." Snape says calmly

"I understand" I whisper

"If you ever need to talk or you become too overwhelmed just tell me. I will listen and I promise to be as careful as I can during these lessons." He promises

"Thank you, Professor," I say and leave