Reverie and Nightmares

14

The teary boy couldn't sleep a wink the night before the college entrance exam, and he'd nearly broken down in front of Sabato, who'd only been asking him to hold on a little tighter to the milk gallon, as he'd been struggling even to grab hold of that.

His girlfriend, Mikan, couldn't keep him all to himself as he'd clearly shown that he'd not taken the news lightly. He'd become a hermit in the past few days, only leaving his room for a bathroom break. He'd ditched class as he'd not seen it as important enough, and he'd avoided calls from his friends, too. Despite the attention that he's garnered, he'd only considered himself the loneliest anyone could ever be; as selfish as it might sound to him, he'd not thought of himself as broken just yet. Scratched and cut up, but not broken.

Allowing himself to be spoon-fed, he groaned slowly as he'd not been ready for the scorch of Mikan's soup. It was an alphabet soup, and Mikan thought that would cheer him up a little, but he'd not even realized it. Or maybe he did, but he couldn't care. Mikan had gone in a circle asking his teachers to send her his homework so that he'd at least catch up before graduation. She couldn't see him dropping out because of this; as grilling as it might sound, a death in the family wasn't what she thought would break him. After all, she'd always pictured him as this capable man, ready for enough. Ride or Die was what she'd thought would be his catchphrase if she'd ever asked him to make one.

The vibration of Ryuga's phone from the constant calls from Reiji and a few of his other friends was a disturbance to the silence after a little while, so Mikan shut the damn thing after three full rings. The steam of the alphabet soup encouraged her more and more to the point it was unbearable to wear her winter coat, and hoping she'd not be too embarrassed that underneath the coat was a simple white t-shirt and a sports bra, she mumbled to herself that she shouldn't care since the two were now romantically together either way.

I hope Momma doesn't call again, and even if she does. I'm not going to go home. Even if I did go home, I'd still get the beating of a lifetime.

And she was right to think that, as she'd ditched her summonings at least five times throughout the first month of the year. Of course, her mother could waltz into the school and ask if she'd been attending school and maybe lying that she'd needed her for her next dentist's appointment, and the school would have no choice but to call her down.

"Ryuga... Say ahh."

"Ahh..."

His shoulders cringed after feeling the sharp boiling heat of the spoon, and he mumbled as if he'd been gagged. Mikan reached for the paper napkins she'd prepared by her side and gave Ryuga another bear hug, her breasts submerged into Ryuga's face. The room had been quiet, and it only proved to her more that Ryuga was taking this news very grisly. His whimpering turned into light shivers and then bawling.

"Ryuga, h-here I am... Your girlfriend is here... I'm not g-gonna let g-go if that's not w-what you want... I'm not g-gonna let it go e-either way, but... Please, Ryuga... Look at me."

"I... I want to, Mikan... But... I'm weak... Dammit, I'm weak..."

"No, you're not... You're a strong man. You're strong, you're only s-suffering. People are brave and strong when they cry. I... Cry sometimes, too. I cry sometimes when I can't hold it in..."

"You d-do?"

He scooted his head away from her chest, hoping to grab some oxygen and lay his head on her springy lap.

She nodded, her smile defeated yet there. "I do. I cry when I can't feel like myself... The news hurt me, too; I love your grandmother, too. She's an amazing person, and I'd only known her a little. But I can't tell who she is." She said, "I'm not exactly the perfect girl in the world, but. I will try. In the end, I do. And now I was hoping you could try, Ryuga. Please try by my side. I want you to be by my side. W-wasn't that what you wanted? I need you, too."