By The Way...I'm Pregnant

What If I'm Like My Mother PT1

Peeking around the barn to make sure the coast was clear, Andy hopped into the aidcar. As she rifled through the supplies looking for what she needed, she honestly couldn't believe it. She was kicking herself for not realizing before today. Andy, Maya and Vic had been in the beanery setting up for dinner while joking about cramps, carb cravings and lady problems when she realized she was late... like several days late. "Oh shit." She remembered thinking as she tried to do the math in her head of when her last period was.

Andy did her best to control the internal panic that was rising up in her, but her efforts were futile. Her hands shook lightly and her body flushed with nervous energy. She thanked her lucky stars that Robert hadn't made his way into the beanery while they were talking. He knew her so well and could always tell when something was wrong. As soon as she could break away without being obvious she slipped downstairs to find what she needed. Andy's fingers had just landed on the pregnancy test box when she was startled by the familiar voice behind her.

"Hey, there you are." Robert said casually not intending to startle her but finding it weird that she was rifling through the rig. As Andy jumped a bit and turned to face him, she dropped the item in her hand. There was no recovering from this, she looked at Robert's face and knew he'd seen the little white box on the metal floor. "Is that a..."

Picking up the box and shoving it in her pocket. She could barely make eye contact with him. "Yup." This was exactly what she was trying to avoid. She wanted to figure this out, give herself some space to breathe and think before talking to him. They hadn't really talked about kids... a part of her assumed he wanted them, but she wasn't totally sure. And if she was being honest, she still had mixed feelings about it. There was a time when it was a definite no, but now with him, there was a part who could see a little Andy or little Robert running around. Another firehouse baby. Give Pru a cousin. But right now, the feeling leading the charge was scared shitless. She didn't think she was ready to be someone's mother. What if she was like her mother?

"You're..." Robert tried to assert but was interrupted before he could get the words out.

"Late." Andy replied quickly, trying her best to conceal the swirl of emotion bubbling under the surface. She jumped down from the rig and slammed the door. Worry lines creased her forehead and she was finding breath difficult to come by the more she stayed in this moment.

Robert seeing the panic and worry in Andy's face pulled her to him. "Come here." He didn't look around, or check to see if they had an audience. Right now at this moment, he didn't care that someone might walk by and see them. He could feel her anxiety rising. They hadn't talked about kids. It had been a long time since he gave himself permission to even think about the possibility of children. Being alone for so long had a way of making you think it would always be that way. And when he did find happiness again with Andy, he thought it best not to test the God's by wanting more. Besides, they were enough. He loved their life just like it was. They had each other and friends that were more like family. Robert also knew Andy had a lot of complicated feelings about her mom that she was still trying to sort through.

Andy couldn't understand why she felt the sudden urge to cry. They had no definite answer yet, but something in her gut told her she was in fact pregnant and it shook her to her core. As Robert's strong arms surrounded her she couldn't help the emotion she felt welling up. Andy willed back the tears, not one for emotional displays, but it was of no use. Slow streams trickled down her cheeks as she pressed her face into Robert's chest. She stood there in the safety of his arms as he rubbed her back and she heard him whisper, "It's okay. I've got you." That was the only thing about this moment making her feel okay. No matter what the outcome they would be okay.

"Just breathe," Robert said. A few moments later Andy pulled back. Robert's hands cupped her cheeks, and his thumbs whisked away her stray tears. "Whatever happens, we're in this together." He kissed the top of her head and breathed in the scent of her.

Andy held Robert's wrists as his hands cupped her cheeks. She nodded her head, cleared her throat and said, "Okay, let's do this." She gathered every ounce of internal strength she had.

Just as they broke apart, the PA system pierced the air. "Engine 19. Ladder 19. Aid Car 19." Andy and Robert both sighed. Looked at one another and kicked into high gear. The call turned out to be a 3 alarm rager that took hours to put out and meant everyone worked OT. By the time their shift was done both Robert and Andy were exhausted. They showered, grabbed their go bags and headed home. The ride home was quiet and as he usually did, Robert held Andy's hand loosely for the short trip. When they made it inside, Andy dropped her jacket and bag at the stairs.

Robert was trying to follow her lead here and not pressure her. They would find out at some point. No need to rush. Dinner had been interrupted and they left the station before grabbing anything so they were both starving. "You want me to make something or should we order take out?" He said gently.

Andy smiled softly back at her husband, he had been exactly what she needed today. "I'm starving, but I don't think I can eat anything right now." She sighed deeply and reached out for his hand and said. "Let's take the test." Robert nodded, took her hand and they headed upstairs to their bedroom.

About fifteen minutes later, Robert was nervously pacing back in forth in front of the bathroom door. "Do you need water?" He asked cautiously.

"No. I just can't pee while you're out there listening to me." Andy said in frustration.

"I've heard you pee before, Andy." Robert replied and shook his head. He knew she was on edge.

Andy was beating herself up a bit. She'd been all over the place and she knew he was just trying to be helpful. "I know. Sorry." A few moments later she added. "Maybe some water would be good." She didn't actually think she needed any but if he went downstairs that would help her relax enough to go.

"Okay," Robert said as he headed out of the bedroom and downstairs to the kitchen. By the time he made it back Andy had gone and was washing her hands. When she opened the door, he grinned at her. "You didn't really need any water did you?"

Andy gave him a sheepish look. "Not exactly..." She accepted the glass and took a sip anyway before sitting it down on the dresser.

"So now we wait? Robert said mostly rhetorically.

"Now we wait." Andy replied back nervously.