Welcome to L.A. [EN]

Chapter 13 : Make amends Buck style.

Eddie thinks, looking at the ceiling, that he learned three things last night;

Buck is much more talkative and open to discussion when he's drunk.

Buck is much more direct and tactile -something he didn't think possible- when he's drunk.

And! Buck is strangely vulnerable when he's drunk.

This isn't necessarily useful information, since he doubts that getting Buck back drunk in the middle of the night is an experience he'll be reliving anytime soon, or at all. At least, he hopes so.

But it's always good to know.

A small part of him feels privileged that Buck revealed this vulnerable part of him to him.

Stop it, Diaz. The guy didn't choose to show you anything, he was just too torn up to control himself.

And, uh... Yeah. That's probably true. But he still feels privileged.

Whatever.

Buck woke up four times in the night to go throw up, and Eddie, like the brave and caring man he is, stood beside him, rubbed his back, and helped him brush his teeth. All four times. Buck actually needed the bottle of water and medicine Eddie had planned for him when he went back to bed for the fourth and final time.

It's almost ten o'clock and Eddie has been awake for almost an hour now, but Buck is still sleeping. And maybe Eddie is a little anxious. Because he has no idea how things are going to work out. He doesn't know what Buck is going to remember or even if he's going to remember anything at all.

Eddie made a decision yesterday, choosing to take Buck home instead of to his hotel. He made a decision to forgive him and continue what they had started. And Buck made that same decision yesterday, choosing to stay with him. But can that really be considered a decision when he was drunk?

"You sleeping?" Buck's voice is husky and low but it still surprises him.

He lowers the arm he'd draped over his eyes to stop staring at the ceiling like an idiot and turns his head to see Buck, lying on his side, his hands under his head and his eyes looking up at him.

"Did you have a bad night because of me?"

Eddie smiles and turns to mimic Buck's position.

"I have a child. I've had far worse nights than this."

Buck smiles, and they spend the next few seconds watching each other in silence, secretly enjoying their closeness, even if they don't touch.

"Thanks." Says Buck after a moment, keeping his voice low, as if he's afraid he'll burst the bubble they seem to be wrapped in if he speaks too loud. "For tonight. I mean... For everything, I guess."

Eddie simply smiles.

"What do you remember?"

"Not much." Buck replies with a bored but far from surprised frown. "When I drink, usually--"

"You forget everything." Eddie interrupts him. "Yeah, I know. You told me that yesterday. Well, this morning."

Buck's frown deepens, as if he's thinking.

"Yeah, I think... I think I remember it."

"Really?" Eddie is surprised by this.

"Yeah. I, uh, I remember kissing you too. I remember you asking me to never ignore you again. And I... I know we talked. But I don't remember what we said."

Well, it could have been worse, right? It's still better than nothing.

Eddie purses his lips for a moment, thinking. Buck doesn't remember most of their conversation. He doesn't remember confiding in him about how he felt. And he definitely doesn't remember crying in his arms. Given Buck's talk about guys not crying, Eddie chooses to keep this information to himself. Buck doesn't necessarily need to remember that.