Adopted by Zerkaa

· Anxiety is Sucky ·

Enjoy! xx

Kind of a shite chapter, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless!

***
Mia's POV
***

"So how's everything going?"

Candice smiles at me kindly and rests her carefully manicured hands on her clipboard scribbled with notes from this mornings session.

I shrug and kind of look at the floor, my heartbeat quick and unsettled. I've been having an anxiety stuffed week and it hasn't been getting better.
I haven't told Josh or Freya, but I think they've noticed me being a lot quieter recently. I get quiet when I'm anxious, hoping the feelings will fuck off and leave me alone. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen. It often makes me worse.

"Mia?" Candice says, her eyebrows knitted together in a soft frown. "Do you want to speak or end the session?"

I blink and look up at Candice. Her almond brown eyes are friendly and the level of comfort her office gives me makes me feel more emotional.

"Are you okay, Mia?"

The minute Candice asks me if I'm okay, I break down and cry into my hands. I'm not a big crier, but going to therapy every Friday seems to have boosted my emotions. Freya and Josh say it's a good thing, but I hate feeling this way.

Candice pushes the box of tissues on the table closer to me and I mumble a thank you, taking a tissue.

"This is good," Candice says with a nod. "Let me in, Mia. Talk to me and express how you're feeling"

"I don't know what I'm feeling," I sniff, wiping my eyes. "That's the problem. I'm so anxious and on edge and I don't know why"

Candice nods and tilts her head to the side, listening to my emotional rant.
When I'm done, she clears her throat and gives me a small smile.

"Mia, I think you're doing a lot better than when we first started. Your body is recognizing that you can take anxiety now and deal with it a whole lot better. When our body gets used to these feelings, we feel attacked, anxious and in danger, when in reality, we're safe and sound"

I nod. "That makes sense"

I take my tissue away from my face and sigh when mascara and eyeliner come off along with it. I spent so long on my makeup today.

"Look, when you come back next week, let's talk about this again. If it's worse, I can prescribe some medication and tools to help"

"Okay," I reply, taking a deep breath as I chuck the balled up tissue into the bin next to me. "That sounds great"

Candice chuckles softly and shakes her head.

"Mia, this is great progress. You're improving a lot, yeah? You should be proud of yourself"

***

After therapy, I make sure my face is fine when I meet Josh outside by the car.

"How was it?" Josh asks as I get in and do up my seatbelt.

"It was okay," I shrug.

Josh looks at me as if to elaborate but I don't. I cast my eyes outside the window and watch as the raindrops slide down the glass. I feel really anxious right now and to me, it doesn't make sense. I just got out of therapy. I should be fine, right?

"Right, well, it's a football video this week," Josh chuckles, looking out through the windshield. "I guess we're playing in the rain!"

***

By the time we get to the pitch, the rain has stopped but the clouds hanging above us are still dark grey.

I follow Josh across the field to the other boys who are already here. We're five minutes early which means everyone else was probably very early.