𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐫 ||𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐠𝐨 𝐏𝐝 (𝐔𝐩𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝)

Chapter 7

Hailey

Shoving open the push able doors leading outside and to the back of the school, I saunter my way towards the bleachers. My mind was spinning; How could so many things go wrong in such a little amount of time?

I still hadn't fully acknowledged this morning properly, after all, it was quite a lot to process. My body still concealed a slight ache from the previous night, the shower I had taken this morning hadn't reduced the repetitive pain acting as a reminder from my father in the slightest.

As much as I had hoped for the swelling to disappear, life wasn't fair. It never has been for me; little sparks of happiness and joy have never been something I have experienced but that was okay... I didn't deserve any of that anyways.

Pathetic. Why am I like this? Why do I still commit to waking up each day, to gaining inspiration in hopes of improving this life I am forced to cope through. If that is a question in which I am supposed to answer... I can't.

There is nothing to say, nothing to explain my reasoning. I push myself forward each day, desperately trying to scrape the surface for a grip to hold onto. A grip, anything in which I can hook myself to, anchor myself to...

Robyn has been a small weight, keeping me standing and constantly proving to me that life away from my father is much brighter. There may always be that cloud, following me around like a shadow wherever I turn, but that is something I will deal with myself.

I understand that my life is not something I can run away from or leave behind, but there are always times for a small escape. A speck of time where I can see the bigger picture, the actual goodness in this earth.

I've not been my true self in a long time, in fact I don't think I ever have been, at least to what I remember. My life has always been secretive, and I can hardly remember the times when the only thing that worried me was not getting my favourite toy when I was a toddler.

Memories. Memories that have faded, they were gone. I could barely even tell the difference anymore; everything had changed so much that I have struggled to depict what was real and what I had just imagined was true.

My head hung low as I approached the same spot on the bleachers that I would always take. It was at the top right corner, close to the edge, but not quite close enough to fall off. This was a common place for me to come, to clear my head and settle my nerves.

Today was no different, I needed to release some steam to prevent my anger from boiling up and pouring over the edge of my fuelled emotions.

I should have known; I should have realised that soon enough something was going to change, and clearly not for the better.

Despite the fact that my next class would be starting in any minute, I knew that I was currently in no position to show up. I decided to rest for a little while longer, especially since I had gotten my morning mark, it's pretty dumb but at my school they only log the mark at the start of the day as well as the one after lunch.

For that exact reason, I knew that my father wouldn't find out any time soon about the slight change of plan to my school day. I'd deal with him when I have to, but right now its just me, sitting alone at the back of school, away from the drama and within the comfort of nature.

At least, that's what I had thought.

Gliding my vision to the trees at the other end of the field, opposite the bleachers, a dark silhouette in my peripheral vision caught my eye. My heart skipped a beat at how unaware I had suddenly become of my surroundings.

I had been drowning silently in my thoughts, without a care in the world, but idiotically forgot that there was no definite confirmation of whether I was actually alone or not. This only stressed me out more then I already had been as I was still arguing with myself inside my mind about how oblivious I was suddenly being.